To others, dogs are their best friends. But as for me, cats occupy the most space in my heart. My cat comforts me in the weirdest ways and still, she gets the job done. She always sleeps beside me. Maybe she thinks it scares me to be alone at night. Or maybe it is just her and her fear of the dark. Nonetheless, I do not mind at all.
I am the only one who understands Rafa. It is as if I can differentiate her varieties of meows and what those mean. Her meow sounds different whenever she is hungry, and whenever she is angry. Others often can not really tell the difference, but again, I am the only exception. I am the only one who can identify her subtle gestures one could not easily understand. With the same energy, it is as if she is the only one who can understand me, at least on the animal level. I think she can feel the energy I feel, maybe thru my aura? Or maybe of the invisible bond we both share? Sometimes it makes me ask why, and how. But nonetheless, I am loving what I am experiencing.
My cat’s tragic death
Losing my cat is like losing a very important part of my life. No, it really is! The moment she died, a part of me did, too. Of course, nothing lasts forever, including our lives. I am very much aware of the fact that one day, my cat and I will be on our own. But I am not expecting her to leave me the way she just did. She left without saying goodbye. She left without even uttering her very last meows.
It all happened unexpectedly. She was out and about, venturing into the world. But little did she know, she was already heading towards her death. As soon as she was out of her comfort zone, the bad guys took over. She was poisoned and was treated less than what she is – an animal. Much to my dismay, she was tortured to death. But despite her suffering, she was just layed on the ground peacefully. It is as if she was only sleeping, and that hurt me more.
Why so? It still is a mystery to me, up until now. She never viewed humans being capable of such violence. She was always willing to give a hug to anyone. Maybe because that is how she grew up with me? Or maybe that is just how she really was – a really loving cat at that.
She left the world without me by her side. But what saddens me more is that her innocent view of the world and of humans proved her wrong. As the world had not been so kind to her, and the people did not spare her very own life.
Overcoming her death
Coping with the pain her tragic loss has brought me, it was never easy. Rafa was my everything, the same way I was to her. She gave me the love I never knew I needed. And she made me be a better human to others, and to herself. She taught me how to love and be loved unconditionally. So the moment she died, a part of me died, as well.
Grieving her loss was a hard time for me. Everything reminds me of her, even the little things. I can not blame myself for she was once my life. She was, but still, she will hold a place in my heart.
Grieving over losing our pets is not petty. This is the same as losing a loved one. The pain and grief that come with it are incomparable, and should not be invalidated by anyone. Rafa was not just my pet, she is my life.
As time passes by, I guess I never really moved on. She may be gone, but forever, she will be remembered. My cat’s death probably is the reason behind my scars. But I still and will always choose to remember her. Because with her memories, I can draw stars around these very scars.
Public speaking was never really a strong suit of Ralph Allen. Hence, she pursued Journalism as her Undergraduate Degree Program. Aside from her love of writing, she is a volleyball player and a diehard fan of Taylor Swift. Despite her fear of talking in public, she believes that through writing, she can "comeback stronger than a '90s trend."