Nobody is perfect right? not me, not you, and not our parents. Most of the time I’m having a hard time understanding them. Sometimes they are affectionate, sometimes distant, is it their mood or they’re just hiding something from us? As a child, I always think about this, well I am too anxious for my age I guess it’s part of being the eldest. I grew up scared of making a mistake and disappointing my parents. Still, I act up no matter how I try to be good and I think that’s normal as a child.
How my parents apologize
Throughout my life, I can say my parents have hurt my feelings more than I did to them. However, it’s not about who hurt who, it’s whether we apologize to each other or not. My parents have an adorable way of apologizing. Most of the time it’s me and my mother who is arguing. Usually, we don’t talk to each other for a day or two, we both got that pride.
My mother know that she had hurt me yet can’t voice out an apology, what she will do is cook. That’s what she’s really good at, she will cook a lot and they will be all my favorite dishes. She knows what she’s doing, luring me out of my room through her food and if sometimes I don’t come out she will personally ask me to eat with her. And then that’s it, she will ask if it’s good, and I will say yes followed by an apology and thanks. She will say nothing more because to her she has already apologized to me.
My father is on the physical side of subtly apologizing. When we had an argument he will not talk to me for a while however, within that day he will be apologizing to me. He doesn’t want to prolong the argument. That’s also why he and my mother always resolve their fights within the day. My father will come up to me, silently, he will just sit with me and once we’re comfortable he will hug me. No words, just action, and just like that we’re okay, sometimes he will take my cat and give it to me like he knows that my cat helps me get better.
Why I’m okay with it
Like every parent, mine also go through challenges, misunderstandings, and bickerings that lead to serious fights. The same goes with us, we tend to argue with them and answer in a tone they don’t like. Mistakes are part of growing, there will be a time that we’ll hurt our parents and they hurt us, intentional or not what’s important is we make sure to apologize to each other. My parents may be emotionally constipated at a time and have trouble voicing out apologies. It was hard to deal with back then, yet as I grow up I learned how to navigate around them. They suck at communicating their feelings, still, I am glad that they are trying.
Rosemarie is a writer and an artist, She developed a passion for arts at a young age, inspired by the Japanese animation that she frequently watches which also sparked her love for writing. Her arts and writings became her special way of expressing her feelings as she's not really good with words. Most of her time were spend on either honing her digital drawing skills, watching anime, or gaming.