An open letter to the cheated, the cheater, and the cheated with

Third parties have become one of the main reasons for most break-ups. In this article, let’s talk about the not-so-holy-trinity of cheating in relationships.

An open letter to the cheated, the cheater, and the cheated with

The Cheated

First of all, I am sorry. The pain of being cheated on is that it leaves a voice in your head telling you that you are hard to love. That voice is the voice of your manipulative ex-boyfriend. Cheating is mostly not an issue of you being hard to love more than it is your partner not knowing “how to” love.

The Cheater

In all honesty, I do not want to talk to you. I think that you are immature, shallow, and a scaredy-cat. Before I continue, I should clarify. When you date someone, you do not have to stay in love with them for the rest of your life. What you need to do is to respect them enough to break up with them when you want to pursue someone else. If the relationship is no longer making you happy, breaking up is the next best thing that you could do. Not cheating.

The Cheated With

This is hard. We have to remember that there are two types of third parties. The unknowing and the willing third parties and the difference between them are paramount. The unintentional third party is just as much of a victim as the cheated partner is.

Nobody deserves to be part of a complicated affair without their knowledge or willingness. The willing third party however is a whole other story. I think that it’s important to remember that when you “agree” to be a third party, you are not just agreeing to be somebody’s “second” option.

You are also agreeing and consenting to hurting another unknowing person. It’s not just about you. It’s about the people you are hurting in the process.