I was once a people-pleaser. In the long run, it has been my pleasure to be of help to other people. Unknowingly, I somewhat crossed the line and forgot about my own sake for quite some time. But, gathering more sensible experiences through the years taught me that being a people-pleaser could somehow go wrong, too.
Let’s get things straight, there is nothing wrong with being nice and approachable to people. Truth be told, it is a very pertinent trait. From the way, we neglect the thought of disappointing anyone to being conscious of upsetting them.
Well, that was how my life has been on-repeat back then. Not until I realized how could terminating this trait contribute meaningfully to my personal growth. Well, not just my personal growth but the genuine happiness that has been missing in me for a while now.
I admit that the pressure on my shoulder went too heavy, that it disrupts the people-pleaser in me. Slowly undertaking the process, here’s how I got rid of my people-pleaser side:
Let yourself be a priority
The time has come to make yourself your own priority now. It has been heavy to fulfill the needs of other people and sort of make them happy. It’s your turn now. As people-pleaser, we are drained and tired of how life goes by every day. This is your sign to put yourself first and attain that genuine happiness.
Learning the Art of Saying No
Meeting the needs of others has been my form of proving my worth and capabilities towards people. Well, in this case, saying No has never been in my vocabulary before. But now, I do myself a favor more often as I learn the art of finally saying No. Such a breath of relief though!
Know your Limits
Trying to fit into an environment in which I think I belong has been in me a people-pleaser. To the point that I forgot to set boundaries regarding the things that I do in order to fit in. Knowing your limits is when you know how far can you go in fulfilling others’ needs. If it causes pressure and burden on you, then that goes the unhealthy part of being a people-pleaser that has to end.
We cannot please everybody
This cliché actually could stand alone to spill it all. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, we cannot please everybody. Well, the thought of making everybody happy for as much as you can, was really fascinating. But there will always be people who would not believe in you, respectively. And, we should accept that truth.
Ask for help if you need it
To overcome people-pleasing, asking for the help of other people is essential. It would never be easy since your circle of friends and family have known you for being independent as the people-pleaser you are. But, opening it up to them could be a huge step to overcome and finally terminate your people-pleasing side.
Now, make yourself happy!
As people-pleasers, little did we know, that we sacrifice our own happiness just to make others happy. It was a hard spill to swallow, but, serving other people was not a sort of happiness for us all the time. Now, overcoming this phase of us could lead us to a genuinely happy life.
Pleasing other people is a trait that has never been healthy. Bid goodbye to the people-pleaser in you, and welcome a more prosperous and progressive life!
Jasper is a passionate writer who spends more time articulating his ideas first, rather than directly jotting them down. A piece of good random music combined with gloomy weather would keep him sane while accomplishing whatever task he was working on. He is fascinated with diversifying his skills that he never limits himself to what he thinks he is capable of doing.