Tiktok Trends show us how social media distorts our self-esteem

Let’s face it: Tiktok is a great platform to share creative content. From DIY recipes to beautiful dance choreographies, it offers many editing tools and filters that promote creativity. However, as it is with every social media app, a dark side is always born. In a way, all social media platforms bring out the best – and WORST in all of us. Tiktok, for example, perpetuates the toxic standards of beauty and self-esteem. The platform does this by highlighting content done by creators that, well, promote physical attractiveness. 

Not being salty, but Tiktok is a great way to show off one’s physical assets. In short, it’s also a platform for “gorgeous” people.

In this article, many Tiktok challenges were supposed to be wholesome but actually became the opposite. Some of these challenges belittle people’s self-esteem and promote only certain types of beauty standards.

1.”I ain’t never seen two pretty best friends, it’s always one of them gotta be ugly.” 

Okay, but that statement is already problematic enough. It’s a viral Tiktok from Jordan Scott, a 24-year old college student, and model. It’s such a misogynistic remark, and he’s a total d-bag for even blurting that comment out. Response videos were intense, with Tiktok videos featuring two best friends using his audio and proving his statement false. Videos were supposed to prove that he’s wrong, but some girls turned it around on their *own best friends. 

Some girls purposefully put beautiful pictures of themselves and then show bad images of their “best friends.” Maybe it was unintentional, but perhaps it was. I mean, the contrast of their glamorous pics vs. their best friends is REAL. Of course, people are going to comment, “Hey, you’re so much more pretty than ur BFF,” or even proceed to insult the best friend in the comments while complimenting the original poster.  

Some of the worst examples of this can be seen in Rebal D‘s video, who called some of these girls out for bringing down their own BFFs: 

Seriously? Letting your best friend be roasted for clout just so you could fish for compliments on how much prettier you look? DISGUSTING. Not only are you ruining your BFF’s self-esteem, but you’re also ruining your friendship. 

2. “I was the girl he didn’t want…so I became the girl he couldn’t have.”

I’m all for moving on from a toxic relationship. Yes, we love glow-ups. We love growing, maturing, and being better versions of ourselves. BUT, we do not stan revenge glow-ups. Making yourself prettier to prove to a man that “this is what you missed out on?” GURL, NO.

Make yourself prettier for yourself, not for anyone else, but for you. Be better, for you and for YOU only. In fact, you’re already beautiful as you are! These videos feature girls going through a drastic change in their looks by becoming sexier or dressing better. Maybe it’s supposed to be a metaphor but the idea that you have to change yourself to look prettier so he’d realize your worth does not sit well with me. DON’T. CHANGE. YOURSELF. FOR. A. MAN (not unless you have a really toxic personality, then by all means, please do before getting into a relationship).

I prefer the Tiktok videos that feature this same audio showing the girl looking the same as before. Except happier and smiling, compared to the first few clips crying and being heartbroken. Girls, YOU are ALREADY the girl he can’t have. Own it, own yourself, and love yourself! Forgive him and let go. Men that date you only for looks are trash anyways.

3. “I kinda like my nose check and all the other body checks – jawline, eyes, face, etc.”

This is one of those trends that make me feel bad about myself in general. Again, this is one of those Tiktok challenges “supposed” to make you love your body, accept yourself, and love the way you look. Confidence is great. Loving the way you look is great, and *cue Olivia’s good 4 u “damn, I wish that I could do that.”

But the thing is, all these trends, especially the nose one, only feature one type of nose. Yep, the straight, dainty, pointed nose that most models and Westerners have. The kind of nose/jawline/eyes/face that adheres to society’s beauty standards. I haven’t seen someone with a Filipino flat and rounded nose do the “I kinda like my nose check” challenge. 

Why? Because if people who had noses like that did do that challenge, you’d be laughed at in the comments. You’ll be faced with inauthentic “well, good for you” statements. Sarcastic remarks mock your confidence for loving your nose despite not being “physically attractive” as society dictates. 

Again, Tiktok loves drop-dead gorgeous people. People that already fit in beauty standards. These videos only perpetuate them! No wonder why we’re all *insecure* No one is celebrating flat noses, double-chins, flabby stomachs, or different face looks.   

4. “Me vs. the girl he cheated on me with.” 

Similar to no. 1, this video features great pictures of the original posters, then bad photos of the second girl or the “girl” they’re replaced with by their exes. 

I agree with Rebal D’s view again on this one. First, this video shows your insecurity and how you feel the need to drag down fellow women to feel validated by compliments from strangers online. Second, THIS IS PROBLEMATIC.

Why blame the girl? Maybe not all of them knew he had a girlfriend at the time? You know how cheaters are. They are sneaky little twats. You should roast the cheater instead! LOL, but seriously, the girl was not the one who cheated on you. She was not the one who broke your trust. Even if the person was aware that the cheater was in a relationship, this challenge is still mega-toxic. Why do we love look-comparison videos???

Besides, if someone did cheat on you for a somewhat *uglier person, then maybe it’s your personality that’s the problem? OOF. Again, *uglier, meaning, “ugly by society’s standards”. 

I, therefore, conclude that Tiktok further promotes unrealistic beauty standards, toxic narcissistic behavior, and unhealthy insecurity.

There is a lot of great content available on Tiktok. However- these trends? They just ain’t it. In our times nowadays, you only become an influencer or a trend if you’re: really pretty/handsome, really talented, or really funny. There is no in-between for average Does. 

Overall, we need to cancel the culture of promoting one type of beauty over the other. If we rely our self-esteem on beauty trends and standards, then we’ll never be “beautiful”. Just be you. The original, wonderfully, unique YOU.