An open letter to a perfectly imperfect woman — my mom

To my mom—to the person who breathed life into me, the woman who taught me the first lessons that I had to learn to survive, our hero, this is for you. Happy Birthday.

You have always felt like you are not appreciated and seen but you definitely are. We feel and witness your sacrifices. In this article, I have reminisced about moments that will stay in my heart forever. These are core memories that definitely helmed who I am as a person. 

First, the time when you accepted a job in Mandaluyong. Of course, you had to do this in order to provide us the things we need. You have always strived for those needs. And, also the ones that we don’t – the ones that we consider a ‘want.’ I will never forget this because this became the time when you commuted from our house to your office, every day.

We live in Indang, Cavite and you report in Mandaluyong. I googled it and for 61 kilometers, you commuted. You did this every day because you want to be with us. Even though it feels tough and hard, you endured it just to see our cute little faces.

Then, this became the time that made me realize that distance will never become a hindrance just to be with the person you love.

The next one, I remember, when I was a kid, when we can’t fall asleep, we massage each other’s head. This might be a silly memory for some. However, I definitely remember how safe I felt when we do that—and how I felt loved. Memories like this that we create are the best…

…because I learned that the littlest things that you do for a person can still speak volumes of love.

The third one, when you and Daddy still had me as an only child. At the time, I slept in between you two. The both of you always hugged me tightly. I would always yell, “Ang sikip! Di ako makahinga!” Then, the two of you will laugh at it. Of course, I guess because you find me cute. Although I felt suffocated, I still felt like the luckiest kid in the world because I had you two.

I learned that sleeping beside my parents will always be the best.

Fourth, when you went to my school events. You looked the most beautiful when you attend these—always wearing a gorgeous blouse, black slacks, and stilettos, Of course, no one can miss that handbag on your arm. Your lips are always painted red and you always smelled nice. Usually, you just left work and went straight to the venue.

I have always felt so proud to call you my mom during these programs. Because you never failed to stand out from the crowd. Not just because you look pretty. But, you know how to handle yourself with grace and poise. When I was a kid, you remain my one and only idol. I wanted to be you.

Then, I learned that no matter who I meet, you will always remain the person I looked up to the most.

Speaking of events at school, the next memory would include my performance on stage. I usually come to these events to sing or recite a piece of literature. Of course, you never failed to show up. Even if you had meetings or other important work stuff to attend to, you always had the time to support and see me. You have always looked at me like I am a superstar.

Since I was a kid, when it comes to drawing, you always praised my work. No matter what I needed to draw, you always believed I could do it. As if I was the greatest painter. When I speak about things, you have also always seen me as wise and intelligent. As if I was an ancient philosopher.

In terms of singing, you also always hear my voice like the sweetest melody. You always say that my voice sounds beautiful. As if I was the biggest pop star. When I had my first acting gig, when the student film came out, you showed it to every person you can brag it to. As if I was an Academy award-winner.

Then, I learned that no person will ever be proud of me as much as you do. You will always be my greatest supporter and believer.

My next memory is when I was diagnosed with the disease of juvenile nasopharyngeal angiofibroma. I had to undergo major surgery. Because the tumor in my nose caused profuse bleeding. If it won’t be treated anytime sooner, it would grow bigger and I would lose tons of blood. We felt so worried because the operation remained expensive. However, it had to be done soon. That would be one of the darkest moments of my life. I cried to you so bad because I felt afraid for myself.

Remember what you did? You took my hand, held it hard, and looked me in the eyes. I can also see that you are tearing up. You told me that we will go through it together and that we will find a way. You assured me so much that all my inhibitions were almost gone. Then, you sang the lyrics,

And He said, “Cast your burdens upon Me
Those who are heavily laden,
Come to Me, all of you who are tired
Of carrying heavy loads,
For the yoke I will give you is easy
And My burden is light,
Come to Me and I will give you rest.”

Finally, we just hugged. The next thing we know – I was better and had already survived the surgery. We went through it together. And that didn’t happen one time, but two. And, of course, we conquered it both.

Then, I realized that I can get through anything, as long as my mom is on my side.

These are the only memories that I want to share here. However, I know that I have more and that we will create more. The moments I have with you, Mommy, will always be the best and the brightest. You don’t know much I love you. And, I will do anything to make you the happiest. You gave me life, but you have also helped me live it. Thanks for being a friend, an ally, and of course, a mother.

You have taught me a lot of things—not just what you explicitly gave me, but also the things I see in you and what you do in life, that make you the best person. I see you, I appreciate you, and you will always be my greatest love. I love you, forever and always.