I have done a lot of contemplating these past few days. And, I needed to vent out. I realized a few things that I just couldn’t grasp the reason why. Life is beautiful indeed. But, occasionally… it sucks too, y’know?
As defined by the Blacksheep Agency,
Zennials are those born in the micro-generation between around 1993 and 1998 – in between Millennials and Generation Z.
With that information, you can now understand where I’m coming from. I’m in my 20’s—the hardest years of a person’s life. I have started questioning the decisions I’ve made in my life. And, I feel confused about what the fuck should I do next. Here are several things in life that I completely understand from a logical standpoint. However, I can’t accept them from a point of view of a normal human being. In this case, a Zennial, as defined above.
#1. I will eventually move out of my home and away from my family.
I have thought about this a lot lately. Due to the government-advised lockdowns because of the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve spent a lot more time at home with my mom, dad, and sisters. We have spent almost the entirety of it together. My sisters and I started to get a LOT closer with each other. We have formed a bond that only the tightest-knit of siblings could have. Knowing this, I can definitely say that I love them more than ever. I will do anything for them. They are the reason why I know what sisterly love feels and looks like.
I understand that this is the reality of life. Because we will each have our own endeavors and families. However, I have yet to accept that eventually, we will have to move on with our separate lives.
Being the eldest of our trio, I am probably the first one who will soon move out. At the moment, my sisters are still young. But, of course, someday, they will too. I have already talked with my boyfriend regarding searching for a place to live in when our financial capabilities become stable. Then, I realize that I have to leave my sisters behind.
I have grown attached to them and I just can’t fathom the fact that I will have to spend my life away from them soon.
I repeat to myself,
“Although it is hard, you have to accept it because you will eventually be doing it sooner or later.”
Now, as an adult, I have to be on my own soon.
Our house—our home is located in Indang, Cavite. We have already left and only visit on special occasions due to my parents’ jobs and my sisters’ education here in Makati City. It’s hard enough to leave that home behind that I lived in for years. What’s harder is me, moving out, because I am now an adult.
I’m not saying that I don’t want to have a place of my own with my boyfriend. That’s one of the things I’ve looked forward to since I was a child. I have always longed to be independent and be with the person I love in our own place. However, just thinking about not being with my sisters makes my heartache.
#2. We have to work one-third of our lives.
I have always talked about this. I realized this the most when my boyfriend got a job that requires him to work onsite, six days a week. When I met him, he holds his time and his work allows him to work from home. It didn’t require him to go to the office every day. Now, he spends almost most of his entire week working.
I understand that we need to work to survive and make ends meet. However, I can’t accept that we have to do it for one-third of our lives. We have no choice but to do it. Because, if we don’t, we won’t be able to afford things that we need and those that make us happy.
Nevertheless, I have to remind people to separate work from their personal lives. We have to draw a line between what’s work and what’s ours. Work is just our way of survival. It is never “life” and never should be.
You can defend this and say that you “love” your job. But how did you learn to? Is it because the fact that you should work and have a job has become embedded in your mind? That’s why you fell in love with the idea of doing something that is actually endurable and easy… easy to like or love.
What I’m mad about sometimes is that people usually call it unprofessional when a person brings their personal lives to their job. But it is okay for them to bring work into an individual’s personal life. Like, answer calls when having dinner with family and reply to emails while on a date.
#3. There are people who won’t understand us.
Remember that moment when your close friend disagreed with you regarding an issue that you feel most passionate about? Sometimes, we say that we may differ in opinions. But, we accept it and still love and be friends with each other. However, that’s not always the case. Especially if the person’s views and opinions already become detrimental to society.
I understand that we are entitled to our own opinions because we differ in terms of experiences. We have been raised in different households and with different teachings. Still, I can’t accept that there are people who say that an opinion is “just an opinion,” when in fact, it affects others.
As a Zennial, I am enlightened and educated about several things that a person from an older generation may not understand. Either they didn’t address it in their generation, or they’re too old to change their views.
I simply cannot fathom that my opinions are only meant to create a better place for everyone to live in, but there will people who will oppose it. They disagree. Because it is not how they’re taught, even though clearly, their views are flawed and are harmful to others.
An example is a person’s views about mental health. Their “opinion” is that it is not real and just inside a person’s head— they say, it is made up. When you educate them about it and say that it’s real, they will stick with their own views and say that “it is just an opinion.”
It does not remain as an opinion. It creates a stigma around a topic that people should talk more about. Expressing opinions saying that mental illness remains fake creates misinformation that prevents other people from understanding it further. Basically, it put others at risk.
I can’t accept that there people as narrow-minded as those who will stick to their inaccuracy even though repercussions remain clear. This is where we draw the line between accepting the person and their views and cutting them completely out of our lives. Because their opinions affect the greater good.
If they are willing to be educated, keep them. If not, they are not worth it. We don’t need someone whose toxic views affect us.
#4. We will lose important people
It is inevitable that we all die. We were all born in a world that’s temporary. Well, our lives are. Death has become an inevitable thing that most people fear. Yes, we spent almost the entirety of our lives thinking about it and trying to cope with it. But we will never be ready to face it. It is maybe the hardest pill to swallow. But sometimes, it is scarier to think about someone precious dying than your own death.
I understand that we are human beings—we have natural bodies—we die and decompose. I can’t accept that we will lose the people that we meet, the people who will become everything to us. We will do anything just to make them happy. However, there may come a time when they will be gone sooner than you.
How do we cope with grief? Answers from experiences and science have been given, but no one will ever know the speedy process of how. There is no way around it, but through. When you lose someone, you have to face it. There is no pill to make the pain go away, nor therapy to make you forget. It should be dealt with even it is hard.
I just can’t accept that we will soon die. Sometimes age doesn’t even play a part in it. One day, a grandfather prepares himself to die of old age, staring at his grandchild. He feels that he won’t be able to see the day when he grows. The next thing he knows, his grandchild was hit by a car. Morbid, I know, but it happens. This is life.
It is scary to think about someone close to you dying. Your mom, dad, sister, brother, significant other, or maybe just bout anyone. Anything can happen in a span of just a second. We don’t get to choose when it happens to them. That’s why we spend the rest of our lives enjoying and being with them.
But sometimes, we don’t. We tend to forget and take them for granted. The next thing we know, they’re already gone. You can’t do anything but deal with it—to grieve and move forward. That’s why we gotta spend the rest of our lives, showing important people how we love them. We need to spend every minute of it, cherishing moments with them before it’s too late.
I personally can’t imagine losing any of my family members, or my boyfriend. Going crazy is a possibility. I can’t imagine how I would wake up knowing that I wouldn’t be able to be with them anymore—see their smile, hear their laugh. I just can’t accept this part of life.
Every so often, we realize things about life. Oftentimes, it’s hard to accept. As a Zennial, I am still young. I will still think about a lot of these things. There are still lessons that I haven’t learned and moments that I haven’t experienced. Being at this age is hard because I have already realized a lot, but still haven’t learned enough.
Yes, I have these thoughts that I understand the logic, but can’t quite accept. I will encounter a lot of it in the short span of my life. I will get hurt, cry, scream and fall down. Nonetheless, I strive to move forward and maybe one day, get to terms with it. Life is how you make it, and for me, it is a celebration. I choose to live it.
Rapha is a person born between the generations of Millenial and Gen Z. He was produced by Cavite State University (Main Campus) with a bachelor's degree in Political Science. The lad has a fresh take on things, but can still stay true to his roots. He writes anything in Pop Culture as long as it suits his taste (if it doesn't, it's for work). He loves to wander around the cosmos and comes back with a story to publish.