Confessions of a former Doper: Living High and Low
[!] WARNING: Mentions of drug use. This article is in no way encouraging the use of illegal drugs. This is written for awareness and educational purposes only.
Behind a happy smile or a burst of infectious laughter, a calm demeanor and a cheery attitude hide a rather tragic backstory permanently. And in these seemingly lonesome points in our lives is when darkness sets in. Some people turn to recreational drug use to ease their worries.
When your demons eat you out from the inside, and you scream out for the help that will never come. You’ll realize that trying to run away is rather pointless when trying to run away from yourself. Suffocated, you feel yourself drowning deeper, further into the abyss. It feels like the sun came down and has never risen again. This is a sign of a mental health problem.
Some people describe it as living inside a maze, and the more you sink further into it, the harder it is to find a way out. And for those people who had finally given up on looking for an escape route, they soon resolve into doing the most convenient and terrifying alternative, one that provides a forbidden escape to temporary happiness and peace of mind. But does it help?
Addiction vs. Recreational Drug Use
Addiction is a sensitive and crucial topic, much more to talk about with people suffering from it—especially drug addiction. People usually have the negative notion when we talk about drug addiction or, to a milder extent, recreational drug use. One must know where to draw the line.
For ‘Z,’ an eighteen-year-old student, who has been very forthcoming to attest he used to take ‘weeds’ (marijuana) to forget his sorrows and problems, recreational drugs aren’t harmful to oneself and others except when things lead to addiction. At the age of 16 or 17, in the middle of his High School life, he heard the terrible news about his family.
What are recreational drugs and why people use them?
Recreational drugs are the ones people use for pleasure and enjoyment in their leisure. If this is bad and illegal, why do people use them?
- People are experimenting.
- They are pressured to take them.
- People they know do it, so they think it is okay to take them too.
- They think taking them alleviates their state of mind.
- Some thinks this makes them forget their problems.
- Most use them to express rebellion.
- They think it makes them feel relaxed or happier.
Out of pain, confusion, and anxiety, he tried so hard to seek peace and happiness elsewhere because he could no longer find it at home.
Thus, it marks the beginning of his rebellion. He started cutting classes to pretending he goes to school when he doesn’t. He found friends who introduced him to new things—terrible, terrible things, but for him brought solace at the time. But he cleared that he wasn’t a drug addict, rather just a recreational user.
Kapag po ba kumakain kayo ng chocolates once a day or twice a week, ibig sabihin po ba nun adik na kayo sa chocolates? Hindi po, diba? Ganon po sa kaso ko. Kapag dinadalaw ako ng kalungkutan, kapag hindi ko na kaya, doon lang po ako gumagamit noon.
The obvious side effects he became aware of
All drugs have side effects. Some are known, some unpredictable. Most of which are harmful to one’s health. It includes:
- Infections
- Mental problems: depression, anxiety, bizarre behaviour, dizziness, confusion
- Accidents
- Alcohol poisoning
It was a bad idea, and Z knows it. He wants trouble then, but he doesn’t want to get caught. However, happiness had a price, an inevitable side effect to his vice.
He began to distance himself from the people who cared for him. It was taking a toll on him, particularly his health. With insomnia, anger problems, and impatience, he became a stranger to those who knew him. All of which are side effects of what he was taking.
While only a few issues arise in recreational use, the apparent risks affecting one’s health are not ones to be ignored.
Where mental health awareness comes in
Z’s tranquility was fun until it lasted. He knew it from the beginning; the effects of the drug can only last for so long. Eventually, he had to go back to the same dark, empty place he was once stuck on. But he refuses to be miserable again, and he sees his dependence on the drug as the problem.
Then it dawned on him he needed to stop it as early as possible. Now Z has confessed that he has been clean for more than two years.
Alam ko pong masama siya, kaya hindi na po ako uulit talaga. Gusto ko po sanang magpa-konsulta sa doctor para malaman ko po anong problema ko talaga. Kung psychological na po ba to, hindi ko alam. Sa makakabasa po nito, huwag niyo na subukan kung nagbabalak kayo, walang iyang mabuting dulot sa buhay niyo.
Due to his financial circumstances, even though he wants to, he can’t seek professional help yet. He speculated that maybe he is depressed and wants to get better.
Yes, we all face the same demons in different faces. More than anything, let us all be open to accepting people who are trying to change for the better. Being unjustly prejudiced because you think you know better only makes you worse than them. The least we can make their change easier is by understanding that all they need is acceptance and support from others.
Go and ask someone you know who may or may not be going through something right now. Check up on your family, friends, and loved ones. Remind them that you’re happy they are alive.
