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I don’t believe the seven-year itch in relationships, and here’s why:

I don’t believe the seven-year itch in relationships, and here’s why:

I have been in a long-term relationship for more than six years now and I’ve always heard people throw around the phrase seven-year itch. It usually refers to a point in a relationship where one or both partners start to feel dissatisfied in the relationship. There are experts who believe in this sort of thing. However, there are experts who don’t. But, I think this all comes down to the question… do I believe in it or not? 

And, to be completely honest, I don’t believe in the seven-year itch and there are a lot of reasons why. 

A relationship takes commitment.

First off, in a committed relationship, wandering eyes or even affairs shouldn’t be something that one would consider. Sure, my partner and I would experience difficult times. However, I believe that a relationship takes commitment and trust. Love is there. But, love will not be enough. Love shouldn’t be the only feeling that remains present in a relationship. It comes and goes but it’s also a choice that takes a lot of work. 

Aside from love, there should also be trust. 

I believe I’m a sort of partner that doesn’t get jealous that often. In my opinion, being jealous really easily means you don’t trust your partner enough that they won’t jump in another bed with a person that isn’t you. Sure, I don’t control whether or not another person would have feelings for my partner. But, I trust my partner enough that if another person started flirting with him, I know he won’t respond to it or acknowledge it. I just know that he won’t invest romantically with that person. 

Relationships have cycles connected to major life changes.

My partner and I have gone through enough. And, there are cycles that happen in our relationship that make certain years harder than others. I will admit, there was a time when I wanted to break it off with my partner. I felt like I was being ignored and that I was the only one fighting for the relationship. But, I stayed because I finally understood that he was fighting for the relationship, too — just not in the same way that I was. 

Humans are innately selfish beings and learning to be humble and selfless feels difficult. I realized that relationships take work and it shouldn’t have to become a half-and-half or 50-50 split but rather an intentional 100-100 effort. The feeling of love can come and go. However, choosing to love him was intentional. It was good. It was beneficial. That’s when we started opening up the conversation of communication. 

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Then, I realized that communication isn’t key. Comprehension is. 

I’ve said this before and I will say it again. Communication with your partner isn’t key, especially if you just talk and talk but don’t take time to comprehend what they’re saying. Have a healthy conversation and comprehend what they want to communicate with you. Because, sometimes, all you need to do is listen. Paying attention to what they want to convey makes a difference and it works. 

My partner and I started talking and understanding each other. We spent time working and building our communication skills. And, instead of just talking and talking, we listened to each other and took the time to understand our feelings. Despite spending all these years together, we acknowledge that there is still room for improvement. And, we can work together for our relationship to work. 

Now, my partner and I are planning on living together soon. And, although there was fear about the seven-year itch in our relationship, I know we can make it work.

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