MY TURN: NOTHING STRONGER THAN A WOMAN WHO REBUILT HERSELF
WRITE. PRAY. LOVE: CHOOSING ME FOR A CHANGE (PART 1)
Discovering My Many Roles
Women’s lifetime: we often bind ourselves to various roles and responsibilities. As caregivers, wives, mothers, and businesswomen, we proudly assume these responsibilities and give our time, love, and energy, especially to those we care about. Taking on the role of creating our families’ happiness often comes at the expense of our own goals and aspirations.
The Overwhelmed Mother
Embracing My Roles
I was not unique in this regard. I eagerly accepted these roles and vowed to give my all as a wife, a mother, and a successful businesswoman. My family’s needs, as well as those of my husband’s, took precedence. I tirelessly managed our household, ensuring everything was in order despite my husband’s more domesticated skills. — I was blessed with a man who is also very maternal.
Endless Worries
My overthinking nature, shared among all mothers, led to a never-ending stream of worries. My mind was continuously occupied, from our helper taking out the trash to my son’s project submission, my daughter’s clothes, my other daughter’s love for arts and singing, the growing boys’ hygiene routine, my husband’s medications, and even planning celebrations of little wins in our family. I love creating happy memories through events while attending business to make ends meet and beyond.
Neglecting Myself
Since I became a parent, I have dedicated my days to family support, and when I say I do, imagine an overachiever doing these five steps ahead for each kid, plus the thought of financial success, not really knowing that somehow I have been neglecting my personal aspirations.I was practically living, working, and breathing for all of them. I poured my all into everyone, inadvertently ignoring the person who should matter most—myself.
Extending My Love to His Kids
Welcoming Differences
Raising a child who is distinctly different from my own was a challenging journey. Yet, my conscious choice was to embrace, adopt, and love his child(ren) as if they were my own. I entered this marriage with full awareness, fully understanding what it entailed. My commitment to extending the same level of care and love to his sons as I did to my own children was resolute. Despite the fact that his ex-partners were responsible for losing our first child, I still chose to raise theirs.
We were committed. Together, we vowed to create a loving, blended family, ensuring that every child felt equally cherished and cared for.
Prioritizing Family and Trust
We placed great emphasis on meeting the needs of both our families, regardless of not being the wealthiest. Money never became a point of contention in our relationship. Preserving trust and respect was our priority. We always kept our communication lines open, and I would like to believe that we were living our love story every day. Our children also shared this sentiment. Life was delightful and fulfilling throughout our first 15–16 years of marriage, until the pandemic struck.
Feeling The Void
Pandemic Impact on Business
The pandemic took a toll on the business I recently established. Gradually, we had to slowly let go of our cars during this challenging time to keep up with our daily needs. In time, fortunately, we were able to secure projects for my husband that kept us afloat for nearly two years in a stagnant world.
Emotional Distance
Adapting to this new arrangement, where the husband had to be away for three weeks at a stretch, with one week of quarantine in between, was a significant challenge. I was overwhelmed with the changes. Slowly, our family time dwindled, and we began bickering over trivial issues, such as delayed updates and social media posts. I started expecting more from him, which eventually led me to be more disappointed, yearning for emotional explanations, empathy, and understanding that seemed out of reach.
Reluctant to hinder his professional growth, I kept my concerns to myself and tried to stay occupied, even in isolation.
Lost Connection
We felt adrift in the midst of these changing dynamics, facing financial and emotional insecurities for the first time. Our ways of communicating evolved faster than expected, and I grappled with the loneliness that haunted me daily. I yearned for reassurance and despised the person I was becoming—feeling financially dependent on his projects was a new and uncomfortable experience. Along the way, I lost connection with the person who was once my happy haven. It was a stark reminder of Robin Williams’ quote: “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
The Awakening: It’s My Turn
Maybe I felt the need to be heard, to be reassured, and to be understood, and somehow I wish I was told that—perhaps it was just a stage—but I didn’t get it. Until I realized that no one can do that to me better than myself.
Then, like a bolt of lightning, it struck me one day. I am done feeling lost and alone. It was time to prioritize self-love, again find my balance in life; not out of selfishness but out of self-care.
Now it is my turn. The idea of embarking on this journey was both daunting and thrilling. To achieve it, I needed to rekindle the self-love that daily life had obscured, because I know that when I am whole—emotionally, mentally, and financially stable—I can be more for my family. After all, as they say, nothing is stronger than a woman who has chosen to rebuild herself.
To be continued:
Part 2: Write. Pray. Love: A WOMAN’S JOURNEY TO LIVE THE STORY SHE WROTE || Reclaiming my life marked a thrilling yet challenging adventure—a journey of rediscovery of my purpose and passion. Sure, I would feel uncertainty and occasional loneliness, especially when contemplating a future alone. The most daunting challenge lay in the necessity of living a life entirely different from the one I had lived for the past 17 years—a life independent from everyone I loved.
