NBSB or No Boyfriend Since Birth refers to a woman who has never had a romantic relationship with anybody. Until this day, this term has remained applicable to me. I haven’t had any dating experience or even shared mutual feelings with anybody. Some of my peers are dating or even in relationships. Yet, here I am, a woman who can’t even socialize.
“Why are you still NBSB, especially today where it’s easier to socialize?”
I won’t disregard this fact, especially since dating apps spread across the internet like wildfire. Even social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram became matchmaking apps to some. It is my choice to be single. From what started as a ‘study first’ catchphrase that I use, it became ‘my choice’ every time someone asks me why I’m single.
It is not the term NBSB that irks me. Instead, it’s what others think of me as one. People tend to assume things on their own terms.
So, as an NBSB, let me answer the common misconceptions:
“You must be a lesbian.”
Those who meet me for the first time and find out I’ve never been into any relationship question my sexuality. They thought I’m in a stage of confusion with my identity, or maybe I’m just more into women than men. Unfortunately, I am not a lesbian. I am actually straight.
However, I don’t take this as an insult or offense. My guess is that those who think I’m such are also because of how I present myself. I admit that I’m the masculine type, and don’t behave feminine enough to be thought of as a heterosexual woman. I usually prefer things that are on the borderline of feminine and masculine.
“You’re missing out.”
It is true that I can’t share any stories about being madly in love with someone at seventeen or eighteen. To be frank, I am clueless about what it feels like to be pursued by someone. But, I am certain that I’m missing out just because I’ve never been in these scenarios. To be real, I don’t feel any sort of pressure or the necessity to be with somebody. Just because I’m NBSB, I’m not missing out.
Being in a relationship is not a requirement to fit into similar age groups, but rather a choice. This choice lies on your own discretion to be committed with someone or not. Also, don’t be involved in a relationship because you are compelled to do so.
“You’re a man-hater.”
It is true that I despise a few, then and there. Those men that I despise are worth spitting for anyway. There might still be good guys out there, but it’s just that I rarely encountered one. However, I’m not a man-hater. Meeting and dating a guy is just too much for me and now is not the time for such.
Not just because I don’t go out with someone doesn’t necessarily mean I dislike men. Romantic relationships would be the last thing I will be preoccupied with. I am keen on embracing singlehood as of now.
“You must feel lonely.”
Twenty-one years of being NBSB and I refute this. I won’t blame others to think that those who are also NBSB and single in general are lonely. It is what society made us speculate. Portrayals in television, movies, and social media also add to this notion. The trope of single people is lonely because they have nobody and the desperation to be in a relationship.
Personally, I’m not down because I’m single my whole life. My happiness is not dependent from romantic relationships. If ever I feel lonely, it is less likely that I’m NBSB.
Being single is not miserable or as bad as it sounds. Not being committed to someone gives me a lot of room and time for myself and my priorities. I’m just currently enjoying where I am today and welcoming more that is about to come my way. If you want to read more from my articles, follow this link.
"An apprentice who again slowly regains her drive to write, thanks to someone who gave her the push to do so. Topics about society, culture, and lifestyle is her cup of tea. It is a no brainer if she enjoys watching or reading anything that falls into the three. If she can no longer handle the exhaustion and stress from writing, a cup of coffee with a side of sweets and anime is her comfort. An apprentice who draws inspiration, either in what she read, watched, listened, or seen. She always empties herself, thinking that she's a blank slate who needs to learn how to fill her canvas."