What is the ten-second rule in physical appearance?
The past decades have a fixed idea of beauty standards where these regimented judgments feasted on such normal and humane aspects. Most of these standards are unattainable and toxic, leading to experiences of low self-esteem and mental health problems. But over time, our perceptions are slowly growing into accepting things that were considered taboo before.
The Ten-Second Rule
The societal definition of “beauty” is still far from realistic. For instance, the fashion industry is majorly catered to fixed body sizes and weight. Or the social media’s warped sense of beauty that often cause identity issues. So, in a world that has ever-changing and absurd beauty standards, this is how you improve what to say to people in the most cordial manner.
The ten-second rule is a simple practice. You can point out someone’s appearance, only if they can change or remove it within ten seconds. For example, if your friend has some lipstick on their teeth, you can comment about it. However, whether with good or bad intentions, you should never give an unsolicited opinion or comment on something they can’t change within ten seconds. It includes weight, height, body, crooked teeth, acne, stretch marks, scars, race, facial or body hair, and face structure.
Why shouldn’t you comment on someone’s appearance?
As the old saying goes, “words are sharper than knives“. Your comment can have a damaging impact on whom you say it to, especially if they never asked for it. Your words can linger, and they could take drastic measures to change their selves. Besides, they probably notice it in the mirror every day, or they must be going through something like sickness or mental illness.
What should you say instead?
Now that you’re briefed about the ten-second rule, save your breath from saying, “you’re pretty but…”, “are you pregnant?”, or “have you lost weight?”. The number one tip is to never compliment them using any part of their body (unless given permission). Second, be sincere. You can try pointing out their general aspects like, “you look healthy”, “you look happy”, or “you dress well”.
The ten-second rule boils down to kindness. It teaches us to control the urge to comment hastily, so we don’t have to be someone else’s reason for self-dissatisfaction.
