Tired of hearing unsolicited opinions from Tita Marites at family gatherings? I got you and here’s how you can deal with it in a classy way. Isn’t it ironic that one trait defining Filipino is close family ties yet every family gathering is most often a time to say hurtful comments about one’s life?
Apologies to our titas who are actually named Marites, though. 😬
“Hoy, tumaba kana!”
“Why can you be like you pinsan na Doctor or Engineer?”
These kinds of questions are very typical for a Tita Marites to say every Filipino family gathering. But, bestie, we are going to deal with them in the classiest way possible.
Classy ways of dealing with your Tita Marites
Don’t let their opinion affect you
Just remember this line from our favorite Legally Blonde when Professor Stormwell tried to encourage Elle Woods not to quit Harvard.
“If you’re going to let one prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were.”
Words are just words. Yes, they hurt. But, we cannot hold that for the rest of our life. We are in charge of our own life. Changing your career, shifting to a different course, or trying something new, always go ahead with what you think will make you grow as a person. If you fail, then fail. Don’t worry about the discouraging words. Again allowing yourself to make mistakes is part of growth. Just don’t let your Tita Marites words control how you want your life to be. Be unbothered.
Respectfully stand up for yourself
Do you feel like skipping up a family reunion because it is a hurtful comment all over again? Bestie, it is time to talk about it. By saying to you Tita Marites that you are not comfortable with the comments and it is not good.
A family reunion is a great time to get along with your relatives and it is sometimes a time for making you question your physical appearance, career, and private affairs. Hearing comments about these things attack our self-esteem.
We are not going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Talk in a respectful way and speak up if you are uncomfortable.
Privacy is important
You have to know that what people don’t know, they can’t ruin. Your relative, especially your Tita Marites, doesn’t need to know everything. Create boundaries and don’t give them a chance to let their unsolicited criticism get on you. Do not overshare your personal lives. Try to filter things out. Be private, bestie.
Be the bigger person
Remember that we know, understand, and know better. Confrontation is not the best way in any situation. Let’s understand that our Tita Marites is built that way. Moreover, it is quite exhausting to always deal with them. At the end of the day, we cannot control how they will treat us but we can control how can we react to them.
Limit your contact and just walk in a classy way
It is hard to limit contact because we often got family occasions but limit what you share and if you sense an argument, don’t engage because it is a waste of time. Keep it straightforward and simple.
Walking away if you like having them around is no good is absolutely okay.
You do you, stand up for yourself because we don’t waste time on the things that consume our energy negatively. Know your worth and never lose the class. Always remember, you deserve to be peaceful, happy, and away from toxic life.
Everyone has this kind of story in family gatherings and having Tita Marites is inevitable. I know you have been dealing with this too so through this article I hope it will help to handle your toxic Tita Marites in your own classy way.
Bea is a highly motivated working student by day and a certified K-pop fan by night. Telling stories creatively is her goal and public service is what she loves. She loves pizza more than anything and is obsessed with 80s movies. She believes in a quote from Forrest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never what you’re gonna get”.