Things I learned living life without a Father

We were once a happy family—or so I thought. I almost lost track of time. I almost lost track of the time that it’s almost been a decade since my father, the man whom I look up to… is nowhere to be found.

Growing Up Fatherless

At an early age, I became aware of the fact that not all things will go according to your will. Well, who would want to have a broken home, though? Undoubtedly none. I thought that we are a perfect family. But, a father who is supposed to be the family’s protector, was the one who left us crumbling down.

Growing up without a father is never easy, I must say. I reached a point where, whenever I saw children in parks with their families, I would wonder what I had done in the past to deserve this. It makes me wonder if I would have been more successful if my father had guided me as a child. If these questions have been asked of me before? I would have agreed. But, I now believe that not having a father does not make me a lesser person.

Here are the things I learned while living my life without a father:

I learned to treasure and appreciate people who stay

My father’s absence taught me to be grateful and, as a result, to appreciate the value of unconditional love. My mother forced herself to work long hours to provide for us when he left. I saw her struggling, but she opted to stay and work harder to provide us with more than we needed. The most important thing is that I still have my family and friends, whose love and support cover the void.

I learned to be strong and independent

If that circumstance had not occurred to me, I might not be as strong as I am now. My father’s absence taught me that the only thing you could rely on is yourself because you can even find heartbreak with your family.

And because I am the eldest child, I learned to do things on my own, even the things that a father should be doing in the house. Plumbing, repairing electric fans, repairing squeaky chairs, and even climbing the roof to repair a hole—you name it, I can handle it all.

Beyond that, I need to be strong because of my mother. I witnessed her climb from her lowest point since that happened. I know she needs someone to lean on, and even though she’s not saying it, I know she’s finding strength in me.

Not having a father made me strive to be a better person

I have endured the darkest periods of my life without my father’s guidance and support. I learned to strive on my own. Hence, I discovered that I alone am accountable for my success and happiness. His absence has led to numerous realizations, one of which is that I do not wish to be like him.

They say a child who does not have a father figure in their lives matures too quickly, and I must agree. We reach adulthood and self-sufficiency at a rate that surprises even ourselves. We tend to see things differently, and we become much more conscious of life’s difficulties and truths.

It is undoubtedly challenging to grow up without a father. But keep in mind that nothing is insurmountable. Just think of it as an obstacle that you need to overcome to make you stronger.