Strangers Like Me: Surviving in the Jungle Full of Unknowns
I’ve been living my life for 21 years now. During those years, I’m surrounded by strangers every day. Due to that, I always feel like I’m becoming more and more of a stranger to others and to myself. I don’t know, even if I try my best to get to know other people and myself more, it’s like all my efforts fail. However, for all my life, did I really try my best to venture into the unknown?
I can see there’s so much to learn
“Strangers Like Me” by Phil Collins, Tarzan OST
It’s all so close and yet so far
I see myself as people see me
I just know there’s something bigger out there
Living life like a robot
When I was a student, my life has been fixed to a daily routine: wake up, prepare myself, go to school, listen to the professor (mind you, I said “listen”, not “learn”), go home, prepare myself, and then sleep. Now that I’m a working student, it changed a little bit: wake up, prepare myself, go to work, do work while doing school stuff, go home, and then sleep. Growing old, though, makes me wonder. Is this routine I’m so, so used to doing daily really helping me in any possible way? Is this helping me become less unknown to myself? Or is this making me even more aloof with strangers?
When do you consider someone a stranger?
These days, the first (and worst) task of my day is to travel to work. And that’s a whopping 11.3 miles distance under my belt. Due to that, I always have two hours to burn my seat on the jeepney and bus during the ride. Of course, a lot of strangers surround me during this time.
Most of the time, a pair of earphones is in their place in my ears. However, when they are not, I have the chance to focus on and observe my co-passengers. “She must’ve pulled an all-nighter last night seeing that she’s sleeping now”. “That guy might be having an exam today judging from the way he reads his notes urgently”. “That mom is probably about to cook Adobo with the ingredients in her basket”. I start to think about how their night has been and how their day will be. But then, I’ll shrug off the thought and say to myself: “I don’t even know them, what’s the point?”
Walking along the streets gives me an opportunity to see a lot of unfamiliar faces. I sometimes hear some strangers’ stories while passing by, and give my opinion on them quietly: oh, you shouldn’t buy that, that’s too expensive. Sometimes, I come across a group of friends arguing about where they’ll eat, and I’ll tell myself: just don’t eat if you can’t decide where! There will be instances where I pass by an arguing couple, then I’ll whisper to myself: yeah, she’s right, you shouldn’t prioritize games over her. I would pitch in my opinions and thoughts quietly on everything because I think they would be helpful. And then I’ll just ignore what I’m thinking and say: “they won’t listen to someone they don’t know.”
When you think a place is familiar but it isn’t
Entering my work building doesn’t make me more familiar with the surroundings, either. Just from the entrance, there are already a lot of faces I don’t know. Well, except for a few people I see every day that they’ve become familiar, but still strangers. The only people I know are my leaders and teammates (and former teammates). And that’s why I always envy some of them for knowing a lot of people in our office. I have a lot of “social butterfly” teammates who have people waving at them or smiling at them randomly while walking. I always thought that I’m wasting my stay in a supposedly-friendly office because I don’t make effort to reach out and make friends. I’m always conscious of the fact that there are only a few people who know me, but then I’ll think: “nope, at least we both don’t know each other.”
And the most exciting part of my day: going home
At home, I can be who I think I am. I know that my family is the only one who knows and accepts me for what and who I am. Home is my haven, where everything and everyone is familiar and surely known. There are no strangers. Instead of wondering what happened, I can ask them my questions freely. I won’t even have to whisper all my opinions to myself. All I know is that I can say them out loud because they’ll be considered. I don’t have to reach out to build relationships because everything is automatic. It’s easy to understand everyone with just a few words.
Lastly, sometimes, home is not always a place, but a person who feels like one. Home can sometimes be a person you trust, who knows you and won’t judge you for you. If you have someone who is always there for you, who listens to you all the time, and who understands you, that’s being at home. If this person makes you feel loved and comforted, makes you feel at peace and yourself makes you relieved—keep them. They are your home away from home and your hug when everything feels heavy. It is always a blessing a person you can call your home.
Discover the unknown
I wanna know, can you show me
“Strangers Like Me” by Phil Collins, Tarzan OST
I wanna know about these strangers like me
Tell me more, please show me
Something’s familiar ’bout these strangers like me
Just as these lines from Tarzan’s theme song by Phil Collins say, there may be a lot of strangers around me, I am equally stranger to them, and sometimes, to myself as well. But then, if even Tarzan who lived in a jungle for so long learning about the strangers like him, probably I can do so too.
I just need to try.
