How to Communicate in a Healthy Way With Your Partner
If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably encountered your fair share of challenging situations.
Arguments are very normal and healthy in relationships. Everyone has heard the adage “communication isn’t the key, comprehension is,” which refers to the fact that no matter how much you communicate, if someone doesn’t understand what you’re saying, it just results in nothing. It’s true. But I also believed that, in addition to those, your connection to each other is important in relationships.
Connection is something that we all desire. We look for it among our family and friends, but we frequently expect to find it in our intimate relationships. When we don’t, we experience loneliness and misunderstanding. These unfavorable feelings cause us to argue, or even worse, to stop communicating entirely.
For a relationship to be happy and healthy, communication is necessary. Furthermore, it isn’t about just having a small conversation. Well, it’s fine to ask your partner about their day, but if you want an extraordinary connection, you need to go deeper.
The key to effective communication in a relationship is meeting your partner’s needs. You must learn how to listen rather than talk if you want to increase communication in your relationship.
Why is communication important in relationships?
Long-lasting relationships require effective communication. According to one study, couples reported more relationship satisfaction when they communicate effectively.
Relationship intimacy can also be increased by having healthy communication. The way you and your partner communicate with one another frequently affects how you two handle disagreements. Even in the midst of a disagreement, you are more likely to establish common ground if you employ constructive communication techniques. This can help enhance your connection in a relationship over time.
How to have healthy communication in a relationship?
Communication in a relationship can play a significant role between a stable, long-lasting relationship or a troubled relationship that ends in disappointment. For a deeper connection, improving communication skills is essential.
Engage in Real Connection
The idea that communicating in a relationship is the same as talking or having a conversation is the biggest misconception. Relationship communication is fundamentally about connecting with your partner and using your verbal, written, and physical abilities to meet their needs. Making small talk isn’t the point. Understanding your partner’s perspective, providing support, and letting them know you are their biggest supporter is all important.
In a long-term relationship, for example, it is simple for true connection and passion to fade. But acknowledging that you’re not connecting as much as you used to is the first step in learning how to enhance communication in a relationship.
Discuss how to rekindle your relationship with your partner and offer a starting point. Do not be concerned if your partner is not on board. Relationships are places you go to offer rather than take. Many of these strategies can still be used even if your partner doesn’t make a commitment; in fact, you might even motivate them to do so.
Recognize your communication styles
It’s important to understand that not every person communicates in the same way before you try to learn how to enhance communication in a relationship. There are four primary modes of communication, the assertive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and passive.
- Passive communicators are the ones that never appear to be able to say “no,” as they keep their emotions to themselves.
- Aggressive communicators are loud and intense, usually, they struggle to establish genuine connections with people.
- Passive-aggressive communicators often use sarcasm to divert attention from actual communication and avoid conflict.
- Assertive people have the healthiest communication styles because they are aware of their feelings and can express them clearly.
Our metaprograms, or the methods we process information, are also involved in communication styles. Some people like talking, others prefer touching, while still others are more visual or react better to receiving gifts than an open discussion of their emotions.
You already know your preferred method of communication, but what about your partner?
Relationships and communication are both unique. Recognizing this will help you and your partner communicate effectively. You must pay attention to how your partner communicates with you even if they are telling you exactly what they need. If there is a misunderstanding, you’ll miss the chance to develop intimacy and trust and you’ll both feel frustrated.
As you work to improve your communication skills, observe how your partner reacts to various perceptual cues as well.
Does he or she appear to react best when they are watching or seeing? hearing while talking? or by doing and touching? Making a lot of eye contact and using subtle facial expressions, for instance, may not be as effective in establishing a connection with your partner if they respond more to language, tone, and other aural cues. Although you are sending signals, they are not receiving them.
On the other hand, keep in mind that simply saying “I love you” might not be sufficient if you discover that you are an auditory person and your partner is a kinesthetic person. Remind yourself to touch often to express your love.
Learn about the Six Human Needs
All people have six basic needs, but each of us prioritizes these needs differently based on our core values, according to Jennifer Price, an international interventionist, and an article from Tony Robbins. You’ll be able to communicate with your partner and how to meet their requirements once you ascertain which needs are most important to them.
Certainty/Assurance
The need for assurance ranks as the primary human need. This need is what motivates us to look for pleasure while avoiding discomfort, stress, and emotional risks. Consider: How secure does my partner feel in our relationship? Everybody has a different sense of security and comfort. Talk openly about what makes your partner feel secure and certain with them.
Variety
The second human need that has an impact on relationships and communication is the need for variety. If you and your partner can communicate effectively, uncertainty need not always be frightening. Healthy challenges that allow partners to develop as a unit are necessary for relationships. You’ll discover that variation keeps things new and exciting with your spouse as you develop better communication skills.
Significance
The need to feel special and significant is the third need of humans. In order to meet this particular need, communication is essential since your partner has to understand how specifically they can fulfill your demands. How can you show your partner that they are important to you rather than just telling them? You can do this by touching them tenderly, being there for them when they need you, and spending quality time with them.
Connection and Love
Love and connection make up the fourth basic human need. Every person needs to experience a sense of belonging. While loving connections can make us feel the most alive and give us a sense that we are loved, the absence of love can hurt more than anything else.
Too frequently, when we are having a disagreement with our relationships, we will instinctively respond, “I love you,” and neglect to actually show our partners that we care in a way that meets their needs. Break this cycle by consciously expressing your affection for your partner in ways that reflect their preferences and needs each day.
Understanding the communication “language” your partner speaks best will help you learn how to communicate better in a relationship. Then, express your love to them in that language.
Growth
The fifth human need is growth. Since growth is essential to the human experience, our relationships would stagnate without it. We continually strive to enhance along the various paths that we find most interesting, whether they be emotional, intellectual, spiritual, or something else. Your partner needs to grow just as much as you do, therefore when we learn to communicate more effectively, we can also learn to grow more effectively as a couple.
Contribution/Giving
Contribution and giving are the final and sixth human needs. To live is to give, always keep in mind. Our sense of purpose comes from our ability to contribute; it shapes who we become and establishes our identity, legacy, and social responsibility.
Think about your current giving to your partner and how you may increase it. Do you give your time? Your full attention? The benefit of the doubt? Another chance? Strong communication between partners enables them to always think of new and improved ways to enhance each other’s satisfaction.
In order to effectively communicate, it is important to keep in mind that the objective should not be “winning” an argument or “being right,” but rather mutual understanding and coming to a solution that works for both parties. This could serve as a reminder that, overall, you still support, respect, and care one another.
