What to know about 5 Fight Languages

There are different ways to determine whether or not we will get along with someone based on the different personality traits that make us who we are. Some people have a tendency to base their opinions on things like their habits, zodiac sign, and social skills. 

And even if we are aware of the fundamentals of compatibility, such as having similar values, being able to communicate effectively, and being equally devoted, there is one aspect that frequently goes unnoticed but is the most crucial of all, our fighting style.

Allow me to share with you the 5 fight languages and how we can identify our own languages or the others we are familiar with.

We are all aware that the key to respectful communication that moves us forward has a lot to do with how we resolve conflicts, and your love language can help you communicate this.

What are the 5 Love Languages?

The five love languages are well known to us all. It originates from Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, which asserts that there are five main ways we can show and receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving and giving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. The love languages are a crucial gauge in our self-perception of how we feel we are actually loved, especially for personality-type oriented persons.

Knowing your partner’s love language and communicating it to them can make you both feel loved and appreciated.

What are the 5 Fight Languages?

Anger can manifest itself in your relationship in 5 different ways. All of these might appear at different moments and for different causes. Here are the five fight languages and how they typically manifest themselves.

Righteous

I’m right, you’re wrong.

This kind of fight language can rapidly turn into point scoring (pointing your arguments) and exchanging previous disagreements and/or mistakes as a means of hurting one another.

Retribution

You’ll pay for that!

This fight language manifests as “You’re going to pay for that! ” or  “I don’t forget what you did to me,” etc.

Indignation

How could you say that? or What’s wrong with you?

The underlying message is to use a kind of guilt trip to try and make the other person feel awful for whatever they said or did.

Distraction

You never trust me.

The purpose of this fight language is to divert the attention from your own acts and avoid holding yourself accountable for it.

The phrase “You never trust me” or  “Why are you always looking for something wrong?” may also be used as a strong form of expression.

Justification

You had it coming.

This is noticeable in the line, “You had it coming! ” or “You deserve it! ” This is simply blaming someone else for your emotions and is another way of point scoring.

The fight language that interlinked to your love languages

Words of affirmation

People who are motivated by words of affirmation depend on other people’s approval and assurance to make them feel good. You often have a high threshold for criticism of your beliefs and behavior as well as for other people’s statements. 

Fighting makes you miserable because you hate foul language, and heated arguments are the worst. However, you take a while to forget. Not to be dramatic, but it might take some time before your partner’s encouraging comments feel genuine once more. While you want to end the argument, you do not want to dismiss the wrongdoing.

Quality Time

This type of person is aware of the importance of their time and attention. You and your partner need to give each other their entire attention. Therefore, it makes sense that you like to have open channels of communication when you argue. Trying to silence? Make a wall of boundary? Never knew her.

Given that time is a valuable thing, you frequently communicate assertively through personal contact and engagement. However, you hold to a certain subject even more tenaciously because you’re battling for involvement if your partner ignores your disagreement.

Physical Touch

People who express and receive love through physical touch are typically straightforward and uncomplicated. Since you are at ease with yourself, you don’t mind holding hands or messing with your hair, for example.

Being cold and distant with your partner is not the right vibe, though, as you still likely want to be held, even when you argue. This doesn’t imply that you physically contact; rather, it suggests that you have a mindset that is action-oriented and that you have no issue expressing your thoughts and feelings to your partner. The only thing to watch out for during a disagreement? placing too much blame.

An article suggests that we should be aware of how we express ourselves to our partners and refrain from placing blame on them.

For instance, saying, “You make me feel X,” can make the other person defensive and shut down. Instead, try saying, “When X happens, I feel X.” By doing this, you are taking responsibility for your feelings and enabling the other person to understand what is actually happening and manifest themselves accordingly.

Acts of Service

People who choose to express their love through acts of service can be a little utilitarian. Efficiency and productivity are flowery and lovely concepts. You have a soft spot in your heart for the people who make your coffee every morning and do the dishes while you check your work. Therefore, when you quarrel, you may be removing yourself from genuine connection because you’re concentrating on what’s useful and practical.

Although you view your partner as your main source of support, you are frequently avoidant, keeping them at a safe distance through “acts” while keeping safe distance from other displays of affection that could lead to resolution.

Gifts

Although many people mistakenly believe that the “gifts” love language is materialistic, it’s actually about surrounding yourself with things that give you warm, fuzzy feelings. You adore it when your partner gives you a gift that makes you feel like they remembered you, regardless of its cost or worth.

Those who have the gift of love language find conflict difficult to navigate. The opposite of receiving things in a loving manner is bolting from the scene as soon as you start to feel uncomfortable. Preemptive withdrawal, however, is actually only a sign of fear and a desire for reassurance. And sometimes you need something tangible to remind you of your partner’s affection for you, like a flower or printed picture.