Forgiving Thyself — A Journey of Healing and Growth

Forgiving ourselves is critical to our healing process, and it is a never-ending battle for as long as we live.

It’s been a constant struggle ever since, but with all of the “crazy” the pandemic has caused, we’ve been forced to isolate ourselves from the world and the things that keep us distracted and sane.

With all of today’s mishaps and horrors, it’s difficult not to look back and reflect on the past. I was hoping to find strength and inspiration from my younger, free-spirited days when I was passionate about almost everything.

But instead of feeling good and finding comfort in it, I’m reminded of everything that has gone wrong in my life over the years.

I was supposed to find my meaning and purpose, but how did I end up losing and hurting myself in the process?

What happened to me? Do you ask yourself the same question?

This article is for everyone who constantly breaks and feels lost from time to time, and is finding a way to grow and forgive themselves.

Although each of us is in a unique situation, we can learn from each other’s experiences. Somehow, it may be comforting to know that we are not alone in our quest to heal and forgive ourselves.

Facing Reality and Self-contemplation

What happened to us? We’ve become exposed to the reality of life, that’s what happened. We went through things we never thought we’d go through.

There are decisions we made that we are not proud of, and they keep us awake most nights, thinking to ourselves: ”What part of me thought it was okay to let loose?”

Some of us even met people who made life even more miserable than it already was, and lost some people we considered friends.

The “Self-loathing” Stage

We used to think too little of ourselves, and we still do sometimes.

We sulk in the corner and try to blame those who have wronged us because it is much easier for us to accept.

Truth be told, we hated our bodies, our guts, and everything about ourselves. Self-pity? Who hasn’t been there?

The Lightbulb Moment

One day, all of our moping and self-pity will be too much for us.

I know this happens and comes at different times for each of us, but I’ve seen that day come for me.

It’s when I realized I am more than all of the negative things I think of myself.

As the song says, “Am I just all my sins? Or can I be more than this?”

So what keeps us from forgiving and being kind to ourselves?

Refusing to accept where we went wrong and failing to own up to it. The key to forgiveness is admitting our mistakes so that we know what we need to forgive ourselves for.

We may have lost ourselves for a moment, but know that these things do not and will never define who we are.

“You are not your mistakes; they are what you did, not who you are.”
-Lisa Lieberman-Wang

We are more than our flaws and vulnerabilities, and no one can ever use them against us.

There will be more challenges ahead of us, some of which will most likely break us again, but whatever choices we make, good or bad, acknowledge them, learn from them, and forgive ourselves for having made them because we must love ourselves not just for our strengths, but for who we are as a whole.

We will never master life, and we will always outgrow ourselves, but remember, that is how something beautiful like a butterfly is made.