How did I grow by saying NO

Edited by Jasper Carlo Barleta

Have you ever been stuck in a situation wherein you are left with no choice but to just say Yes? The feeling which guilt would be the first thing on the line and you cannot help but be nice for as much as you can. Been scared to refuse because you are not emotionally prepared to contain other people’s judgment? If you keep on struggling to say No, then this article is a perfect read for you.

Saying No is definitely a harder thing to do than just saying Yes. We may find ourselves caught off guard for quite some time and we cannot deny the fact that we all possess that “people-pleaser” side of us.

But, little did we know that saying No is an important aspect to grasp for our own growth. It is a decision that would certainly be life-changing for an individual.

Why is it hard to say NO?

Meeting the needs of others has been my form of proving my worth and capabilities towards people. For the past few years, I have depended on my gestures to where other people would appreciate or see me.

I actually don’t mind if I receive the benefit back or not. Who would not want to be appreciated and validated… right? But everything changed when I learned the art of saying No.

Below are the growths I have undergone upon realizing how important saying No is:

Not bothered by people’s expectations

Dealing with people’s expectations would definitely fall to be the most evident reason to which it became hard for me to say No. The struggle of setting such thoughts that people are certainly expecting something from you has been with me for years.

As I began to say No along with distinguishing my limitations, I stopped prioritizing other people’s expectations of me. It felt a lot healthy and made me way more productive with my own endeavors. This made me realize how much time have I been taking away from myself for personal growth and development.

Coming up with guilt-free decisions

Establishing healthy relationships with others and yourself is the most remarkable lesson that saying No brought me. To be able to open myself up to someone about what I can do and not do is huge progress. Given that way back, I could never be brutally honest about the things I truly cannot do.

My decisions today definitely reminded me of how indecisive I am before. It made me a lot more comfortable with myself and more tender about it. It also became an implication for me to embrace my strengths and weaknesses.

A people-pleaser no more

Truly, we cannot please everybody. But as for me, I tried my very best to please everyone, but it only destroyed my mental health. Unknowingly, some people took advantage of my “kind and easy-to-please guy” kind of vibe. This made me realize that I am partly at fault for it since I ambiguously fulfilled their expectations.

Now, I got rid of all the expectations that I think people are setting toward me. Uttering the word, No now, has never made me feel concise and confident as before.