Surface Pressure: Being the Luisa of the Family
“Give it to your sister and never wonder. If the same pressure would’ve pulled you under. Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?” The song ‘Surface Pressure,’ which was featured in Disney’s film Encanto is all about Luisa, the oldest sibling in the Madrigal family. This song discusses the challenges of being the family’s oldest sibling. So, if the song made you cry, it is possible that you may relate to the underlying struggles that Luisa faces as the oldest sibling.
Surface Pressure: Being the Luisa of the Family
Angelica Mae, aged 26, is the oldest sibling in her family. Her family consists of six. One sister is employed at a lending organization and the other two pursuing higher education. Over the past five years, Angelica has been a dedicated employee at an insurance company. She has progressively advanced in her career to the role of Senior Business Process Associate in the last two years.
Angelica Mae deeply relates to the song “Surface Pressure,” which resonates with her personal experiences. Moreover, she finds it overwhelming how accurately the song captures the pressure she feels as the oldest child. Similarly to Luisa, she carries the burden of shouldering a significant portion of the family’s responsibilities. The weight of these expectations bears heavily on her, fueling her fear that failing to meet them could lead to a sense of purposelessness within her family and life.
Give it to your sister, your sister’s stronger
See if she can hang on a little longer
Who am I if I can’t carry it all?
The Weight of Expectations
As the oldest sibling, Angelica shoulders the weight of immense expectations, as her family looks up to her to fulfill the role of a role model and a source of inspiration for her siblings. The pressure to fulfill these expectations is a constant presence in her life, shaping her actions and decisions.
“Of course, as the oldest child, you have to meet all the expectations. You have to fulfill all the standards, even if you don’t want to.”
Under Pressure: Financial Struggle
When managing the finances and expenses within their household, she often finds herself under considerable pressure. The recent house renovation has further amplified this burden. The expectation falls upon her to contribute financially. However, despite her dedicated five years of work, her modest income and limited savings have hindered her ability to provide significant financial support.
Angelica drives herself to secure a fulfilling career with a substantial salary, aspiring to provide better support for her family and fulfill their needs. Also, she takes on the responsibility to pay for her sisters’ school fees. As the oldest sister, she wants to do everything she can; making sure that her siblings have the experience and knowledge they need to be successful.
Give it to your sister, your sister’s older
Give her all the heavy things we can’t shoulder
Who am I if I can’t run with the ball?
Balancing the Pressure and Her Own Wants
Angelica’s parents sometimes tell her how important it is to get married and have kids. She says that, deep down, she really wants to start a family of her own. She also wants to get a good job and move into a nice house. But she doesn’t want to get married right away because of her current financial situation and the fact that she has to keep taking care of her family.
Throughout her childhood, Angelica dutifully followed her parents’ desires. They would tell her what she should do, and she would obediently carry it out without complaining. As she grows older, it becomes increasingly difficult for her to define her own wants. She grew up in a home where there is little to no communication, resulting in her struggles to convey her thoughts and feelings to her family.
Multitude of Pressures
The multitude of pressures that Angelica experiences has taken a toll on her mental well-being. Like Luisa, she often finds herself trapped in a cycle of overthinking during restless nights. Consequently, her mind becomes consumed with thoughts about her life plans. She contemplates how to support her family better and seeks ways to meet her parents’ expectations. These relentless reflections contribute to her anxiety.
“It’s demotivating when you’re pressured because sometimes you no longer know what to do, you become confused about what you really want. You lose sight of your life’s plans. All you think about is where you can be of help and what will benefit the most people.”
Many older siblings endure this problem, as it all comes down to shouldering the burden of being someone the family relies on indefinitely. They need to possess the strength to hold it all together.
The oldest children put a lot of pressure on themselves, but it doesn’t always match up to the expectations imposed by their families. They believe that if they fail, they let themselves down and their parents and siblings.
Luisa’s story resonates with Angelica and countless older siblings who bear the heavy burden of their family’s challenges. They consistently shoulder many responsibilities while striving to set a positive example for their younger siblings. In this role, their failures are often magnified and utilized as valuable teaching moments for their younger siblings.
The Burden and Blessing of Being the Eldest Sibling
Being the oldest sibling has its own fair share of pros and cons. Angelica said that she has a difficult time living up to the standards set by her parents; nonetheless, she wouldn’t have it any other way. Even in her next life, she believes that she will always want to remain the eldest child. One could say that she enjoys the sense of authority that it gives her. Moreover, her sisters are also her companions in everything. Every weekend, they would watch movies together, and afterward, they would go to the mall and have ice cream. Furthermore, her siblings are also a constant source of amusement for her.
Like Luisa, Angelica struggles with all the pressures thrown her way, but she will do anything in her power to give her family the life that they deserve.
To all the oldest siblings out there who selflessly assist with household chores, attentively care for their younger siblings, navigate family concerns alongside their struggles, and consistently go above and beyond — your dedication and resilience deserve heartfelt recognition and praise.
