Supporting a friend who just came out as an LGBTQIA+ individual
Is there anyone, whether a friend or family member, who has come out to you as an LGBTQIA+ individual? A friend of mine just recently came out to me as gay. We haven’t seen each other for a few months due to our busy schedules. But last month, we were able to catch up with each other through a phone call. I knew it wasn’t easy for him to find the courage to tell someone about himself, but he had trusted me with his heart to finally say who he truly is.
Even before he came out to me, I was already noticing that he was attracted to someone of the same sex. But I never asked him about his sexual orientation because I wanted him to open up to me first. So, I was not surprised when he revealed his gender identity to me; rather, I was very proud of him.
Supporting a friend who just came out as an LGBTQIA+ individual
What can we do if a friend comes out to us?
Some of us may feel unsure of what to feel and how to respond to a friend who comes out to us as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. Knowing that people choose to open up to us means that they trust us. It does not necessarily mean that we need to understand it all right away. But it is important that we make them feel that they are in a safe space. Creating a safe space allows every one of us to be confident and comfortable with our surroundings. Moreover, it is significant that we make them feel supported. If we need more time to embrace the idea of their coming out, do not reject them, rather say that we are willing to learn more about what their sexuality or gender identity means to them. At the end of the day, their self-acceptance as LGBTQIA+ doesn’t change who they are.
Coming out as LGBTIA+ can be terrifying for someone. When my friend came out to me, he was very concerned that his family could not accept who he is. I listened to him and validated his feelings. I told him that sometimes it may take time for others, particularly a family, to finally accept and recognize who we really are. But there are also people who see you for who you are. Thus, if a friend comes out to us, make them feel loved and accepted by giving them words of affirmation or a hug. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, but reassuring them with your continued friendship and support can really help them embrace themselves.
What can we do to support the LGBTQIA+ community?
Speak up
Speaking up for LGBTQIA+ people involves more than just responding to negative remarks made by others. Speaking up can also be a way to raise awareness and educate people. You can share inspiring ideas that motivate individuals close to you to learn new perspectives.
When do we speak up? We should speak up when we think something isn’t right. Some people are afraid to speak for themselves because they don’t want to cause trouble. However, many people continue to say hurtful and discriminatory words, which can lead someone to feel uneasy, unjust, unaccepted, and unloved. Hence, we should not allow disrespectful words to be spoken.
Stand up for inclusion and equality
LGBTIQIA+ people experience discrimination, violence, and harassment because they have different sexual orientations, gender identities, and other characteristics than society expects them to have. Thus, we can simply support LGBTQIA+ inclusion and equality by standing up for policies and laws that help protect the rights of the community. We may think that we are just students or ordinary citizens; however, we must keep in mind that we are all-powerful. We can make a difference and ensure that all members of the community or organization receive equal opportunities.
Create safe spaces
Creating a safe space or environment for LGBTQIA+ people can help protect them from any threats, judgment, discrimination, or ill-treatment. Having safe spaces allows LGBTQIA+ people to work productively, open themselves, and be comfortable with the people around them.
Stay informed and aware
Educating yourself can be one of the best ways to support your LGBTQIA+ friends. We can research and learn about the difference between sex and gender. We can read more about current LGBTQIA+ news. And we can ask questions about the things you don’t know.
