How to Date an Introvert (Advice from an Introvert)

In all honesty, what comes up to your mind when you think about introverts?

Introverts have usually been stereotyped as quiet, boring, and/or even worse, rude. As an introvert myself, I guarantee you that this is NOT the case. We also like to hang out and talk with people, but excuse us as we need to recharge our social batteries once in a while.

If you fancy us, then forget all those myths! In fact, introverts make the best partners. Dating an introvert is not as difficult as you would think, so there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

What’s it like dating an introvert?

It takes a little more effort to get to know, let alone date, an introvert. It is because we introverts are cautious of letting people into our lives, especially when it comes to giving our hearts away. But once we are certain of our feelings, we can be extremely affectionate and romantic, and you can see it’s all worth it in the end.

If you’ve never dated an introvert and are not one yourself, then you must know that we don’t like typical dating approaches. To give you a head start, check out these tips to understand an introvert better and make your Valentine’s Day date a pleasant and memorable one.

Cut the small talk.

First things first, let it be known that those of us who are introverts loathe small talk. We get stuck in a predictable rut of “How was your weekend?” “Fine! How was yours?” Instead, we crave meaningful, interesting conversations about something more personal and relevant to us. We get thrilled when we explore new ideas, and honestly, none of that happens when you make small talk.

So, try asking open-ended questions for us to say more than a single word. Instead of “How was your weekend?”, try “What was your favorite part of the weekend?” or “What are you looking forward to this week?” Eventually, you’ll learn what makes an introvert tick, and the conversation will naturally grow into something more engaging.

Give us time to open up.

If you want to get a lot further with us, then dive deep and show us your inner world—what you’re passionate about, what you’re scared of, and how you’re really doing. However, it takes time for us to share ourselves with someone we barely know. So, giving an introvert time to get comfortable around you will require some patience on your part.

Don’t get us wrong, though! If we seem distant or uninterested, please know that we’re still listening to you (and we’re extremely good at it). It’s just that we are deep in thought and aren’t ready to talk right now. Trust us, when we get to know each other, our quirky humor and thoughtfulness will soon shine through.

Plan low-key dates.

It’s no secret that introverts are keenly aware of their surroundings, so a date can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. We don’t like being thrown into a pub with big crowds and loud, thumping noise at times. Instead, we opt for something simple where we can get to know each other a little better.

So, when you’re scrolling through the internet for date ideas, choose ones that won’t exhaust an introvert and won’t bore you. Something like a mid-day walk around an art gallery or a themed, at-home movie night would make our hearts happy. Once you fully understand our preferences, you’ll be able to find plenty of activities that we can bond over.

Look out for subtle signs.

It’s the little things that count to introverts. We are not the most expressive by nature, and hence, we express our love through sweet and thoughtful gestures rather than over-the-top acts of romance. It’s the everyday kind of love and support that we especially tend to do really well.

Checking in to see whether you’ve reached work/school or home safely, bringing you a box of your favorite cookies, stepping out of our comfort zone for you—all of these are our ways of showing affection and letting you know that we care. So, pay attention to our small efforts because we are trying to show you how much you mean to us.

Respect our space.

It may be hard to decipher why someone who claims to like you would want to retreat into their own cocoon from time to time. If that’s how you’re feeling, then find solace in the fact that introverts love some ‘me-time’. It has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally!

To put it simply, having some space is like coming up for fresh air. It allows us to clear our heads, organize our thoughts, and re-energize for the real world again. We thrive best on our personal space and we expect you to not violate it. So, learn to compromise and accord us this luxury, and it’ll work wonders in our relationship.

Love moves in mysterious ways, especially with introverts. We might be complicated souls, but our needs are simple when it comes to dating: respect our differences, find our common interests, and honor each other’s personalities. I can also guarantee you that once an introvert falls for you, you will get to experience constant butterflies and intense emotions that you have never felt before.

If you’re an introvert or have successfully dated one, what tips would you add?