Confessions of an Insecure Girl: Being Real with Acne
“Yuck may tae sa mukha!” (“Yuck you have poo on your face!”), “Puro ka taghiyawat.” (“You’re full of pimples.”), or “Lagi ka kasing maghilamos.” (“Wash your face more often.”) These are some of the phrases that I often hear every time someone will catch a glimpse of my face full of acne. Sadly, few of those came directly from my family.
Honestly, I just shrugged these phrases off. I just let it flew over me like it’s nothing. There came a point wherein I even deprecate myself especially in my issue of having acne just to sound unaffected. But overtime, I noticed that little by little I also ache inside. At first, it’s really hard to believe and accept that I have acne.
The onset of acne
My acne started way back June 2021. It was just a few pimples and zits. Eventually, it all cleared away. Until August 2021, few pimples suddenly appeared. I just neglected it since I thought it will clear up again.
Unfortunately, it didn’t happen as I expected. It worsened wherein more pimples, zits, blackheads, and whiteheads peppered my face. My face all red and itchy because of it.
I am truly grateful that facemasks are now required whenever we’re outside our homes. That’s how ashamed I am to go out in public just because of my acne. I can’t stand someone looking directly at me, and I instantly cowered in response. Couldn’t even bear to look at my own reflection in the mirror. I don’t have any nerve to take a photo of myself (that’s why I included only a selfie), the reason why I decided to just keep this as it is. “I would’ve look much better without acne.”
Others around me assumed that I don’t take care about myself that is why I developed acne. They’re not in the wrong though. Maybe I am being reckless. I am to be blamed as to why my acne worsened.
Trying solutions
It is no longer surprising since these past months I am deprived of quality sleep, nutritious meal, exercise, and diversion from the stresses brought by the pandemic. Given my carelessness, I still tried some remedies to at least minimize my acne. Now, I make sure that I get enough, sound sleep, and well rested. Eating more fruits and vegetables accompanied by a simple workout routine.
Though these seemed to be a holistic approach, I still topped it off by trying some rejuvenating facial sets. These facial sets became sensational to some because of its claims of achieving clear, glass skin after a week or so of usage. To be fair, gladly these methods somehow alleviate my acne, but not completely. New year comes in and I’m still battling acne.
Realizations setting in
I never thought that I will write about my acne journey, since I never had the confidence to share or even talk about it. Impossible as it sounds, but my acne brought the worst and best in me. I can’t deny how my acne took a toll on my self-esteem. It made me see less of myself, that with it on my face I’m nothing. It made me feel envious of others on how healthy and radiant their skin are.
On the flipside, I am able to accept myself no matter what. It made me realize that I’m a natural living being, naturally flawed. Instantly made me snapped out of wanting superficially, flawless beauty.
I also realized that I am writing this not just for me to let out my emotions, but because I may also share the same story as others who are struggling to accept their imperfections. May it be acne, skin discoloration, flabs, body hairs, hip dips, or crooked teeth, these are all part of us. Something we can’t change in a matter of seconds. Regardless, these are still worth accepting and flaunting.
My acne journey has taught me that I am more than just the imperfections I have. My whole being can’t be masked by my acne. Does this story inspires you to accept the true you? Click this link for more.
