A breakup may be devastating in some ways! I would agree with that because I’ve been there!
A lot of people going through a breakup don’t follow the 3-month rule, and that is okay. These people might have a valid reason or something they uphold that works for them!
However, there are good reasons why the 3-month rule is something we should follow once the relationship ends.
Acknowledge shortcomings, welcoming acceptance!
After the relationship, it is the part where both of you ask the question “Whose fault was it?” and both of you try to find the answer.
When you both can’t find the answer, we put that fault on someone else. Moreover, we carry the idea that we made the relationship perfect and it wasn’t our fault. You found that validation that it did not work because of him or her, one-sided blaming game!
It will not work! If we continue to push back, we won’t be able to address the things we lack during that relationship. In fact, we will continue to commit the same mistakes and go through the same struggles when we decided to welcome someone in our hearts.
Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery
Acknowledging your shortcomings will be another way to accept the things that did not fall into the right place. When we accept things, we can smoothly sail on! We make things better moving forward. In addition, we become a better version of ourselves.
The drawback within 90 days
We might not admit this but most of us try to hide our real emotions after the breakup. We tend to do this because we are afraid of what others might say. Maybe I’m the first month of being broken, we show that little “I can do this” or “I am strong” kind of attitude and will not cry over the situation.
Three months is just the right time to step back a little bit and be vulnerable, be emotional, and be overly sensitive to the things that happened. When emotion kicks in, we become impulsive with our decisions. Not knowing the result, it can be sometimes good, but most of the time, it can have really bad results! However, we have a good amount of time to fix it, remember that!
The drawback includes being impulsive, which could create another problem. When you try to move on, this includes entertaining someone within the period of you moving on from your past relationship. I would say, this is the result of being vulnerable and looking to validate your actions. This will not work for many of us! Instead, we are only concealing the wounds that should be healed at the first place and might hurt someone else!
Given the time to acknowledge your shortcomings and accept your faults, including addressing some of your issues will give you the reason to heal and release the heartaches caused by your past. Only then will you become a better version of yourself. You can be someone who is willing to take on the next level and will welcome someone having not to worry about the pain brought by yesterday.
The love you will be spending with someone is also the same love you should be giving yourself. Above all, allow yourself to be free of the pain before loving someone. Go through that 3-month rule process and heal.
Marck Losaria is a fashion designer and a writer from Davao City. Other than being a fashion designer, he loves to write an educational and inspirational articles about fashion, personal experience, travel destinations.