How to Keep Your Cool at Christmas Family Gatherings

The best and worst thing about family gatherings during the holidays is that you get to see everyone in the family all at once. Like any Filipino shindig, our family gatherings during Christmas are loud and everywhere all at once. You get to see your extended family come by to your house or vice versa. It’s hard to keep up sometimes and it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

This holiday season, take the stress out of family gatherings with these simple tricks!

Entertain Positive Thoughts

A good thought goes a long way. Our thoughts are usually translated into action. If you start going into the family gathering with a positive mindset, you can control the experience you will have. Psychotherapist Terri Cole, LCSW says that deciding upfront that you’re going to have a good experience will reap an amazing experience.

Be in control of your experience at the party by preparing mentally. Manage your expectations. Often, we fall into past habits and routines when we meet up with siblings, cousins, and older relatives. If you go to the party with a neutral stance and lowered expectations, you can leave happier and pleasantly surprised by how everything turned out. You can also set boundaries beforehand around sensitive topics that will cause discourse in the family.

Find Common Ground

Okay, so you’re practicing happy thoughts but someone from your family is really itching for a fight with you. When this happens, try to find common ground. After all, the reason why you’re gathered for holidays isn’t to fight each other but to exchange pleasantries and come together as a family. Family gatherings aren’t supposed to be a place of judgment but rather a place of love. Be mindful of your surroundings and focus on what you can control right now. Ask yourself, “What exactly is escalating the situation?”

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Let it Go

Just like Elsa, some distance makes everything seem small. When you know you’re up to your limit, bow out from the party early. It might feel nice to continue fighting, but at the end of the day, no one feels good after a fight. Always choose to de-escalate the conflict. By moving yourself physically from the party to gather yourself again, you can not only re-enforce your boundaries but also take a minute to take care of yourself.

You can’t really predict what will happen at a party, but what you can predict is how you will react. By being responsible for your experience, you can make sure that every family gathering you attend will run smoothly and end happily.