It’s pride month, and people from LGBTQ+ Community and their allies are celebrating and protesting for their rights. With rainbow flags, festive celebrations, and a message of acceptance, this could be a perfect month to celebrate you. But for someone who has not come out of the closet for years, this is just another month he needs to endure hiding who he is.
Discovering about his self
He hides his identity under the name ‘A.Grande,’ who has not come out of the closet since high school.
During his secondary education, he discovered that he is bisexual when he became attracted to both women and men. He has experienced having relationships with both genders.
However, being bisexual remains a secret from his parents.
Fear of Coming Out
A.Grande’s parents did not know about his gender until an incident happened when he was in Senior high school. He never came out, but his parents suspected him of being gay upon seeing his Facebook photos looking too feminine.
He recalls how his gay cousin came to their house for temporary shelter after being kicked out by her mother after knowing that he is gay.
However, A.Grande’s father did not welcome his cousin; he told him to cut his hair because he does not want a gay person in their household.
With the fear of experiencing the same fate, A.Grande denied the accusations of his parents about him being gay.
Closing the Closet
His parents did not talk to him for days when they saw his photos on Facebook.
The silent treatment scared him, so he decided to run away from home.
After two days, his mother asked him to apologize to his father. She also told him to make a promise that he would act like a man from that day on.
“Coming out scares me because, you see, I was not even out; they are just accusing me, yet I’m receiving treatment of rejection.”
His father always tells him that they have the same name. He is the ‘JR.’ and expects him to give him a grandson.
Until now, they still accuse him of being gay. He still receives derogatory words about it whenever he goes home late.
So, whenever he’s at home, he always tries to talk and act like a man. He presents a facade that his family would accept, even if it’s far from who he is.
Even though the situation looks hopeless, he still tries to see the silver lining amidst the dark clouds.
He still hopes that he can come out of the closet soon.
Even with the fear of rejection, he will soon have the courage, and maybe they will accept him.
And for those still in the closet like him, he does not want them to suffer the same fate he is experiencing. So he leaves them with a message,
“Never be afraid to come out, even though there are people who will belittle, judge, and question us. But at the end of the, we don’t need someone’s approval because they are not who will have to battle for our future, but it is you.”
These words are the exact words he tries to tell himself every day. That may be soon enough; he can say to the world who he is.
Rainbow after the rain
Pride Month is not just about celebration, but it is about fighting for the rights the LGBTQ+ community longs for.
The fight is still in the long run; the culture of discrimination and rejection of people with different gender preferences is still not gone.
For closeted people like A.Grande who cannot celebrate themselves this month, this is just like any other day; they have to survive.
May we continue to fight for them, and soon enough, no more closeted people will fear letting the world know what their gender identity is.
A warm hug for people who cannot still come out from us!
We accept you.
Nica is a resin artist, watercolor painter, and writer. She loves putting art into life because it feels liberating. She believes that the most powerful form of art is through words, for it can set us free. Her life is sweeter than fiction because of Taylor Swift’s music, fur babies, and chick flick movies.