It Comes With A Price: The Cost of Never Saying No
Saying no, let’s talk about it.
‘No’ is an N-word we are allowed to say but most of us are afraid to.
In fact, “no” isn’t a swear word; it’s a lifesaver.
It’s just a word, really. But why does it seem so difficult to say no?
Underestimating the power of saying no could end up hurting us in the long run, and we’ll have to pay a price.
Unfortunately, some of us have to learn it the hard way.
Why Am I Afraid of Saying No?
At some point in our lives, we’ve all avoided saying no to a task because we were afraid it would make everyone think we were incompetent.
Or when our ‘Titos/Titas’ ask us to start singing for them and we never said no for the fear of disappointing them.
That girl whose been sexually harassed but is unable to muster the strength to say a word because it might end up hurting her more.
Whether it’s taking on additional work or deciding to accept invites to something we’re not really interested in, or for whatever reason.
We’ve all been there; struggling to find the courage to say no just to eventually say yes in the end.
We just have these fears: the fear of not fitting in, the sense of failure, and the fear of risking our relationships with others by saying no.
Because we live in a “Yes Culture,” we believe that saying no is not an option, and when we do, we tend to gaslight ourselves.
‘I Should’ve Said No’ Moments
Taylor Swift was trying to tell us something when she released “Should’ve Said No.”
Indeed, I should’ve said no when my partner was coercing me to do things with him.
I should’ve said no to a friend’s favor when I know it was too much to fit into my schedule.
When someone wanted to reconcile with me when I wasn’t ready emotionally, I should’ve said no.
I never should have agreed to accept gifts from someone who would later blackmail me because of it.
I shouldn’t have let people abuse me physically and verbally when I could’ve said something to defend myself.
Agreeing to meet with a stranger just because I felt it’d be rude and disrespectful not to is something I never should’ve done.
The list might go on and on, but it’s good to be aware of when we should have said no.
We learn from it, but it’s also unfortunate that most of us had to learn it the hard way and go through these painful experiences.
Paying the Price
These things have already happened and are in the past, but they just sometimes linger to haunt us.
I see now that I should have said no to all of it, but it already cost me things.
It cost me my peace, my self-esteem, and the trust in myself and those around me.
Grief, emotional trauma, and heartaches are the price I paid for learning to value the art of saying no.
But, after all, I learned important life lessons, and so did you.
Seeing the light at the end of each tunnel is what matters most.
All of these things happened when we didn’t know any better, but we now do.
I’m not saying that we’ll perfect the art of saying no, but knowing when and how to say it is a huge step toward avoiding future heartbreak and consequences.
