Turning 25 and overcoming my quarter-life crisis
Despite just turning twenty-five, I’ve been having my quarter-life crisis for two years. Before I graduated college in 2017, I thought I had my whole life planned out. I thought I was going to work in a huge broadcasting network. Then, I’d apply to graduate schools to get my master’s degree in Screenwriting. After that, I would graduate, get hired at a job with a high-paying salary, and voila!
Well… after I graduated, I spent eight months unemployed, thinking that I was not good enough for the companies I thought would like me. Then, I got into entertainment news writing — something I didn’t see myself doing. At nineteen, I was starting to have anxiety and uncertainty as I begin to question my future. Then, at 22, I began to feel trapped, uninspired and disillusioned.
Turning 25 and overcoming my quarter-life crisis
Surrounding my career.
At 23, I felt like I was in a dead-end career while all of my friends advanced in theirs. Then, the pandemic struck. Two years later, I’m 25 and I still felt like I was going nowhere.
These years are supposed to be fun and relatively easy and all I have was problems after problems after problems. I felt nothing but insecurity, doubt, and disappointment surrounding my career and financial situation.
I still do.
So, the title was a lie. I have not overcome my quarter-life crisis. And, I don’t know how. Although I’ve found other hobbies that I can take advantage of, I still feel like I’m going nowhere. Turning 25 should be fun. Shouldn’t it?
Recently, I got into crocheting. I had planned on mastering it and selling my creations online. However, I went blank. With a freelance job and no time at all, I felt like I can’t have the time to crochet and sell.
I would be able to finish one crocheted top in a few weeks and even then, I don’t think anyone would buy it. Even if someone buys it, how can I crochet more if I don’t have time at all?
Surrounding my love life.
I’ve been in a relationship since 2016. We’ve been together for six years and a lot of people have started to ask the ultimate questions.
When are you getting married? When are you going to have kids?
Well… we’ve already answered that far too many times. And, the answer is – we wanted to have our own place before getting married and having kids. Having our own place would give us privacy and allow us to work together on our own. However, due to inflation, that won’t happen anytime soon. I think.
And, I know, I’m getting older and it would be harder for me to produce a child when I reach the ripe age of 30. But, I don’t actually know what to do about it. Not that there’s anything wrong with it but I just don’t want to live with our families in our respective family homes. I value my privacy and that’s something I won’t have if we do that.
There was a time when I didn’t want kids. But, when my older sister had my niece, I just knew I wanted one in my future. And, my long-time boyfriend knows that. We even have names for our unborn children. Still, we wanted a home to call our own before having them.
How the hell did I know I have a quarter-life crisis anyway?
Forbes defined a quarter-life crisis as a period of intense soul-searching and stress. Research shows that it is more common than we think. Some reported stress about money. Yup, got that. I don’t know where to get more to actually establish my future. Others reported pressure to get married, start families, and settle down. Yup, got that, too. Still, others report stress around finances, career, and relationships. Yup, got that, too. Well, Forbes — you got it.
At first, I didn’t know I was going through a quarter-life crisis. I didn’t realize it until I read up on the symptoms. I felt like I was wasting time, my activities feel meaningless, and I don’t have a sense of purpose. It’s hard making decisions because… well, it’s just hard. I feel stuck as if I was just going through the motions — without actually being present.
And, to be honest, I’ve lost motivation — especially when doing the things I love. I’m fatigued and more stressed than usual. Plus, there’s this fucked up fear about making a change in my life, even when I know it would be a good choice. Despite being a Leo and having that confidence everybody seems to think I have, my self-esteem took a hit.
Trying (very hard) to overcome it.
Just because I don’t look like I’m trying, it doesn’t mean I’m not. I am trying. So hard. I’ve started to redefine what success looks like for me. Because, the thing is — success isn’t uniform. It’s not supposed to be uniform. Success shouldn’t look the same and the way other people succeed won’t be the same path that I take.
Madeline Miles from BetterUp cited Adam Smiley Poswolksy’s book, The Quarter-Life Breakthrough. There, he asks readers to examine what makes their hearts sing. What makes an impact? How can I pursue a career and a life that matters to me?
Well, right now, I don’t know the answer. All I know is that I love writing. I’ve been writing ever since I was twelve and it’s all I know what to do. I want to write as a way to provide for myself and my future family. But, the question still rises — how can I do that if my articles earn so little?
But, the thing is — every person is different. Why would my definition of success be the same as others? So, right now, I’m taking a minute to examine myself and learning how to make my articles earn more.
Because that’s what is important to me — writing and providing for people that would depend on me in the future. Writing would mean being in the comfort of my own home as I do not feel comfortable working in an office place.
Still, what should I do to reach my full potential?
Despite trying to overcome my quarter-life crisis. I still don’t know what to do. As of now, I’m avoiding the comparison game. It’s hard not to think of life as a race to the finish line because it feels human to achieve certain levels of life. Thankfully, society has started (very slowly, might I add) to move away from rigid expectations and norms. Because, in the end, I am so much more than the work that I do.
