I’ve always believed that my 20s are supposed to be my selfish years. And, as a 25-year-old who hasn’t lived her life to its fullest, I want to know more about myself and do for myself. Am I where I think I should be? Where am I even going? Where do I want to go? And, what I am even doing with my life?
I can no longer say that I’m a 20-something, I don’t need to have anything figured out. But, I just have to. I need to take my future seriously and focus on myself. Although I want to do whatever I want, there’s a part of me that hopes to get out of my current state.
I want to be selfish; I want to travel, explore, do stupid shit, make mistakes, and learn from them. However, if I do, they would call me egotistic and not take my future seriously. But, the thing is — I do. I am taking my future seriously by doing the things I want to do and having those experiences as the basis of my fate.
I just want to be selfish and finally live my life. But, why do people make it seem like a bad thing?
I’ve lived how they told me to. I ended up going on autopilot doing what they expected me to. But, how will I know where I stand and what I want if I don’t break out of that? I have to be selfish in order to live my life. I want to embrace selfishness and operate in a place that stimulates growth and my personal development.
I don’t want to settle. I want to know myself better and learn what makes me happy, sad, excited, terrified, and so much more. It’s time for me to chase and go after it. I won’t learn those things if I don’t take the time to be selfish and explore other opportunities and my own heart.
It’s okay to be selfish; to put yourself first, and go after what you want even if others don’t understand.
Over the past few years, I’ve done a lot of things that made me feel better about… well, myself. And, I learned that it’s okay to put yourself first and it’s not something you need to feel guilty about. My mental well-being before others is something that I find hard to do. But, living my life to please other people had a major impact on my mental health. Although it’s nice to be considerate of other people, I need to find the balance of looking after myself, too.
I’m 25 now and I don’t want to go into the next chapter of my life with dread thinking about all the things that I haven’t done. I am currently scared to go into my 30s because I think I haven’t even lived. And, I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Instead, I want to enter it already knowing what I want while also being able to look back on memories that I could cherish.
I just want to be selfish.
Angela Grace P. Baltan has been writing professionally since 2017. She doesn’t hesitate to be opinionated in analyzing movies and television series. Aside from that, she has an affinity for writing anything under the sun. As a writer, she uses her articles to advocate for feminism, gender equality, the LGBTQIA+ community, and mental health among others.