If you are a golden child, many consider you your parents’ favorite. Little did they know, the golden child is always the neglected child.
Often, a golden child is an outcome of being raised in a “faulty” family dynamic according to board-certified psychiatrist Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, M.D.
“To be clearer, a golden child is held responsible for the family’s success. Parents appreciate and adore them and, in a way, reinforce them to become better in whatever they are doing,” she tells in an interview.
“A golden child is an example for others to follow. Even the siblings of the golden child are compared with them to create continuous pressure on their performance; to ensure that they shouldn’t fail or fall short in their good behavior and accomplishments,” Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios added.
The need to please
Growing up, you have this overwhelming desire to please everyone. You go to great lengths to meet the expectations of those around you. There is a constant nagging feeling that if you do not, you are failing. You believe that it is the only way you can receive love and affection.
Being an achiever
As a child, you also have the tendency to be a high-achiever. You study extremely hard, and you are always overly competitive. To obtain the approval you seek, you have to prove to everyone your capacity. Being the best means having the best grades.
Why the golden child is a neglected child?
The feeling of neglect is always there. You may have accepted words of approval and praise as a child, but it feels like it is not enough. Your parents felt joyous when your siblings passed their tests for the first time. On the other hand, you excelled the test and got a perfect score. The difference is: they bought them ice cream and you received a simple good job.
It is not surprising when you are at the top. You have been like this since you were a child. They tend to overlook your efforts and achievements. “Ikaw pa ba?” is their usual response. And for someone who has this constant need to please everyone, it pains you in some ways.
Being the golden child does not imply that you are the cherry on top or the cream of the crop. Its idea and concept are simply harmful, especially to a growing child.
Ivanna, a gawky and indecisive person, uses words to escape the world's BS. When she isn't writing, she can be found reading, snacking on bakery-bought crinkles, binge-watching Netflix with her beau, or simply dozing off somewhere.