Our own toxic personality traits might be hard sometimes, It could be a small trait that only affects ourselves. Or a huge one that often causes trouble not just for you but also for other people. I have a lot of toxic traits and I am well aware of them, both big and small traits. Being perfect is never my dream, in fact, I hate trying to be one. However, I do want to change and unlearn my toxic side. Unlearning might be hard, but still, as an adult, I need to be a much better person as my responsibilities increase.
Detoxify the toxic traits
Before we start unlearning we must identify what exactly our toxic trait is. Here are some of mine that I badly want to change.
Holding a grudge
Forgive and forget, I can’t do it, somehow it’s very hard to let go of the grudge I developed against other people. I don’t open myself up to people so easily, I’m very picky about who I should trust. Maybe that’s why I hold the grudge when other people hurt me and it would fester. I’m handling this trait so bad and it would turn into resentment. It was even worse back in high school, I have serious anger issues however, I managed to tone it down when I entered college. Now, I think it’s okay not to forgive and forget, I can move on without those, still, I want to unlearn holding a grudge.
Like most people, I am judgemental, although I never voice it out. I want to erase this toxic trait because I want to be more open-minded. The world is not black and white and I need to see more of it. Not just me, I think other people should also stop being judgemental. Life is more breathable if others should just mind their own business.
Procrastinating is a trait I need to also graduate into. I don’t need it when I start working after graduating college and it honestly scares me. Because what if I failed to get rid of it? This will affect me greatly as I pursue my career. Now, I’m trying so hard to suppress it, graduation is approaching and I don’t have much time. I very much need to unlearn this toxic trait.
Unlearning the toxicity
Based on the traits I have listed above, I am a self-destructive toxic. It’s safe to say that I’m not toxic to other people, just to myself. Or maybe that’s what I’m just telling myself. Still, I am PROUD of myself for identifying my toxic traits and trying to unlearn or tone them down. After my last relationship, I realized I should change for the better for MYSELF mainly and not just for others. Right now, I’m in a good place, happy, and still finding myself, I overthink less and procrastinate less. I may be far from being a better person however, I am very glad that I am trying.
Rosemarie is a writer and an artist, She developed a passion for arts at a young age, inspired by the Japanese animation that she frequently watches which also sparked her love for writing. Her arts and writings became her special way of expressing her feelings as she's not really good with words. Most of her time were spend on either honing her digital drawing skills, watching anime, or gaming.