OPINION: Here’s what I think about dating.
Dating is like a never-ending story of failed romance. You meet a stranger, and you converse every day until late at night talking about anything under the sun. In the long run, both of you decided to meet, vis-a-vis. It was fun, but you know deep inside…it’s just not it. Eventually, you two stopped talking, and it’s kind of like an unwritten rule that when that happens, it’s about time you move on. And repeat.
Without a doubt, dating can be fun. But finding someone to date burns me out! Nonetheless, It has been more accessible since dating apps are just on the corner. On the contrary, it has also swamped us with dateable people. We have perceived them in an ideal way, hence we forget to think that people are different on-screen and off-screen.
Disclaimer, I’m not here to distort people’s perception of dating. Most of these sentiments are questions I have in my psyche while exploring things. So, here’s what I think about dating so far.
It is NOT everyone’s cup of tea.
Growing up, I thought that dating someone is like a one-time thing. After meeting someone you are romantically involved with, you’re bound for a lifetime. Thus, I blame the love I witnessed in television programs like Walang Hanggan, Got To Believe, Be Careful With My Heart, and many more. Well, come to think of it, Filipinos are undeniably romantic, we have harana (serenade), ligaw (courting), and the untranslatable word ‘kilig‘.
However, as I have become conscious of my surroundings, my perception of dating has become more complex. Whenever I think about dating, I think of it as a romantic phenomenon between two people who have felt their undeniable chemistry and chose to act on it. But I also think about those people who are not capable of feeling romantic feelings and/or sexual sensations. Because collectively, we believe that there’s somebody out there, waiting to be with us forever.
Although this may be true, I also believe that that’s not the case all the time. Sometimes, we’re just meant to be alone and it is also possible you feel romantic feelings for someone without the intention of dating them. And that is FINE! My point is, for some, solitude might be the best way to live around and some might prefer someone being on their side. Either way, we should remind ourselves that dating is not everyone’s cup of tea, and we should respect that.
Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope.
I got the subheading title from the speech of the Priest from Fleabag. The speech was for a wedding, but I think it can also be helpful for someone in the dating game or exploring romance. Here’s the video if you want to listen to it before you continue reading this article.
As has been noted, it takes a hell of a lot of hope to be romantic. And dating might just be the perfect way to unshackle your innermost romantic self. For instance, deliver your jokes in a funny and witty way; then you can write a song, a poem, or short but sweet notes, affirming your love. You can also make a portrait of them. In dating, you set your best foot forward, nothing less.
When you’re dating someone it takes more than just your time, you also invest your attention and your emotions. And just thinking about it makes me exhausted to go through all of that. Yet, I also think that for someone to completely understand you, you have to go naked. Naked not just in a literal sense, but also emotionally and mentally because until then you’ll be uncomfortable.
If we find that person worth hoping for, we need to be brave and let go of the doubt and fear we have. Let yourself feel the love, the arousal, the pain, etc. That’s how dating works. It’s an abstract of emotions when you’re in it. Hence, dating might just be hard for someone with little to no experience at all or for someone who is not ready to take the fall.
It’s a Phase!
Just like any other experience, we ought to come across, dating is just a phase. Every once in a while, it’s reasonable to believe in soulmates, twin flames, and happily ever afters. Because that’s just how dating life is, right?
Indeed it’s fun to explore, to go on a trial and error; to feel delicately in love with someone, and to feel pleasure now and then. But when you get to the point where you have already committed yourself to a relationship, you will wonder how those roads have been necessary.
Finally, you will look back and be amazed by those people you met, the heartbreaks, and the experiences you had with them. Even so, being with someone you are romantically and sexually attracted to could be the exciting part of it.
What now?
To sum it all up, I’m not the one to tell on how you should approach dating. It’s up to you on who, how, when, and where. You can start by installing dating applications. Interact and initiate a casual conversation with them. Don’t shy away because of what others have experienced or their take on it.
I believe in the authenticity of love regardless of how people obtain it. And surprisingly, you can meet the MOST interesting people online just as you can offline. In the end, it’s all gonna be a hit or a miss. So, good luck. May the odds be ever in your favor!
