Is it okay to leave your friends on read?

Facebook allows people to know if the messages they send are received or seen. Some days it can glitch—but, most of the time, it’s accurate. Unacknowledged emails often leave us anxious, what more are the unanswered messages we send on a messaging app? There is a big difference between knowing when a message is received or not, and if it is purposely ignored.

Seeing a friend’s display picture beside your message informs us that they have read it, and may take them a while before replying. In some instances, they have not, and just accidentally clicked the chat.

In anger (depending on the closeness), a few usually bombard follow-up messages until the person replies. Others act passive-aggressively and even take to Twitter or another friend to hint at their frustration of being ‘snubbed’.

But some people understand and patiently wait—which is all a person could ask for a friend.

Different people, different lives

Everyone has different situations.

One can be mostly available. Most treat their phone as a lifeline, checking it in every few minutes. But some people do not have the free time to check their messages unless for work and emergency, and accepting this would infinitely make both parties feel good.

Understanding that your friend might be busy at the moment is key to a healthy relationship. Remember that not all lives and circumstances are the same.

To empathize is to be kind

Others have a difficult time with replies. Not everyone is socially inept and available. Coming up with quick responses is a skill that only a select few are masters of.

Consider the situation everyone is in (especially with the work-from-home and online class setup). Being as patient with your friend online as you are face-to-face with a person struggling in conversations would do wonders. Pressuring the people around you will only be counterproductive.

Patience is key

Patience is key. Unless it is an urgent matter—that is a different case altogether. But if it is not, then being patient might take you both to a pleasant surprise.

One reason your friend is taking long to reply is that they might be collecting their thoughts. Give them time to process what you said and come up with a response. Being patient is a quality people value and appreciate in others.

Opening the eyes and heart

While being brutally honest is appreciated, the act of being aggressive is not. There is a difference between “You can reply at your own pace. Take whatever time you need” to “Why are you not replying?” The tone of voice speaks volumes.

Getting angry over what some consider a “little” thing of just crafting a reply can be “big” to some, and ingraining that to our minds can be helpful. Helping friends take things at their own pace and subtly encouraging them is always an admirable act.

We draw the line with their “no” though. If your friend does not want to open up, and explicitly says that then respecting their decision is the only choice.

The days of selfishness and apathy are over. It is okay to be left on ‘read’ or ‘seen’ at times. Tread carefully and do not jump to conclusions.

Consider why your friend is taking too long to reply. Putting ourselves in each other’s shoes usually does the trick, and can help maintain mutual respect in relationships.

As Alice Tonneato once said,

“We can all make the difference. Be gentle with each other, and [uplift] each other’s souls.”