Why I Stopped Being an Overachiever
Being an achiever is something to brag about, however, being an overachiever – not so much. Accomplishments can fuel persistence and determination to achieve better. Meanwhile, obsessing too much about achievements can backfire and extinguish the fire within.
Looking back, I never really enjoyed my life as a student. A little less than a year is all I have left before I let go of my student privilege and face the harsh world of society. And instead of memories of bonding with classmates and friends, I am left with unfulfilled wishes and yearnings. It is not to say that I’m discouraging anyone to satisfy their enthusiasm to achieve more, I simply wish to share why I stopped doing so.
I was left to overthink every little detail
It’s impossible to put into words the pressure I subject myself to. I was paralyzed with the fear to fail and make mistakes, and it kept me away from all the opportunities I could have experienced. Before, being an overachiever for me meant I don’t accomplish achievements so I can brag about it. My achievements were never mine. It was all for the people who expect much from me.
Like a playlist on repeat in my mind, I needed to perfect my task to satisfy everyone. Persistently overthinking if what I’m doing can satisfy my father, family, teachers, classmates, and friends. I kept thinking that what if a single mistake is all it takes for everyone to lose their trust and recognition towards me.
Regret of not enjoying the process more
Albeit late, I was able to understand that I have always discredited my hard work and lack of appreciation towards the process. I was so focused on meeting the output that I didn’t even realize I’m already there. It’s pathetic how I’ve only become a thinking machine whose purpose is to yield results. I never get to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I didn’t give myself enough time to enjoy and relish the means of accomplishing my task. Have I realized sooner, how different could I have been?
My mental health was in shambles
Since being an overachiever requires me to aim higher, when those goals aren’t met, I’m left with the feeling of uselessness. Before, the constant fear of failing and falling out of favor with the people around me constantly stressed and gave me panic attacks. It came to a point where I needed professional help to set me back on track. It was only in college that I realize I need to stop. Only when my mental health suffered a great deal that I was able to draw the line. I needed to take care of myself.
It slowly drained my life
For most of my student life, I have been known as a model student, someone who would be put on a pedestal to motivate others, but that came with a price. The life of perpetually living to indulge others is gradually making me lose my identity. While motivating others to do better, slowly made my resolve falter. I asked myself, to whom am I living my life? Only then have I realized that this is not the life I wanted. There’s so much more to life than just achieving. I wanted to live a more meaningful life than just shutting myself in the realm of academic success.
It’s a matter of choice and resolve in order for one to become an overachiever, and I come to the realization that an overachiever life is not for me. At the end of the day, my nature as a human bound to experience failure is what I choose to embrace.
