Dating Lessons I Got From Bebang Siy’s “Nuno Sa Puso”
Bebang Siy’s book is one of the local books published here in the Philippines. She has been recognized for her love advice since the early 2000s.
The book consists of letter senders and the author’s advice to them.
Here are the dating lessons and tips that Bebang Siy mentioned
Kailangan po ba ang commitment kapag mahal mo ang isang tao at mahal ka rin niya? Puwede namang enjoy lang di ba?
(Does commitment matter when you love someone and someone loves you back too? We can just be happy right?)
Bebang Siy said it is possible for this sender, but the other side should also know about this arrangement. She also added that, on the other side, she is sure that both parties will be happy if there is a commitment to their love life. And that commitment is not a bad and difficult thing to do as long as you love that person, and that commitment might lead them to a more fruitful relationship.
Mag-iisang buwan na kami ng boyfriend ko pero napansin kong kapag nagkakatampuhan, palagi na lamang ako and humihingi ng pasensya kahit siya ang may kasalanan. Napakamatampuhin po niya. Pero bagong taon na, oras na ng pagbabago. Paano ko ba sasanihin sa kanyang bawasan ang pagkamatampuhin niya nang hindi ko nasasaktan ang kanyang feelings?
(My boyfriend and I have been together for a month but I noticed that when we have a conflict, I’m always the only one who asks for forgiveness even though he’s at fault. He is very stubborn. But it’s the new year, it’s time for a change. How can I tell him to reduce his stubbornness without hurting his feelings?)
The writer advised her to have more patience and be extra careful with the words the sender says to his partner. Bebang Siy also mentioned that the sender should try to project a situational scenario for her partner to address her concern. Her example was that about her nephew, who is always grumpy and didn’t know how to recognize his fault and asked her boyfriend what’s his said or his opinion of the nephew’s attitude. From there, her boyfriend will answer, and she will also know the response to her concern.
Pag po ba nililigawan, kailangan po bang magkaroon na ng right sa isa’t isa? ‘Yong tipong pagbabawalan na o lilimitahan na ang kilos? Tama po ba ‘yon o mali?
(If you are courting, do you have to have rights to each other? That type of behavior should be restricted or limited? Is that right or wrong?)
In this situation, the writer entirely said it is incorrect because anyone has no right to do it, especially in the courtship stage. No one should be demanding anything on both sides because it is the stage where the two should only know each other. Not to jail each other.
Ayokong nagsusuot ng maiikli or revealing na admit and GF ko. Naaasiwa talaga ako.
(I don’t want to wear short or revealing clothes my GF and I admit. I’m really worried.)
The writer got a few questions for the sender, like, why he doesn’t want it. Is he mad because even he is not focused on her revealing clothes showing skin? Or is he mad just because he wanted that only him will see that skin?
From that, the writer said that it is not right to restrict her girlfriend to what she wants to wear as long as she is comfortable in that clothes. His girlfriend might be happier if he were more thoughtful and supportive.
Matagal na akong naghihintay ng liligaw sa akin. Pero wala namang dumadating. Hindi naman ako pangit o ano. Marami ring natutuwa sa akin. Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin? Nabo-bore na ako sa buhay ko, e.
(I’ve been waiting for someone to court me for a long time. But no one comes. I’m not ugly or anything. A lot of people are also happy with me. What should I do? I’m getting bored with my life?)
The author entirely said,
Look in the mirror. Repeatedly think about these:
You are entering the relationship because:
- I am free and ready to enter romantic relationships.
- I have a special feeling towards that person and the other way around.
- I wanted to be happy, sad, excited, or bored with that person.
- I want to have an extraordinary impact on the life of that person.
And these are some of the tips I got from the book. Have you also read it?
