Setting boundaries to protect yourself is not selfishness
There are things that have limitations and boundaries. You cannot just climb the wall they build or step on the line they just drew. They put those for a purpose and you must be aware of it. So, to prevent or lessen chaos, you must also set boundaries, not to push people away from your life, but to instead empower and protect yourself even more.
However, establishing boundaries won’t be a piece of cake. Sometimes people might misinterpret or violate it so quickly. But then, setting it might help you discover the right people who respect and deserve you.
Here are the four types of boundaries you should set for yourself according to American author Melanie Robbins.
1. Emotional Boundaries
We can’t deny that, sometimes, allowing ourselves so much to people triggers some part of our emotions. Since not everyone knows all your situations in life, they might tend to touch some part we’re not comfortable talking to.
An example of this an experience I had with someone pointing out my scars or acne. It triggers my self-confidence and it makes me anxious.
That’s why setting emotional boundaries bu telling them you don’t want to talk about such things will help you protect your peace and feelings.
2. Time Boundaries
In line with these, making time limits will prevent you from being taken for granted. We will meet some people in our life who always ask for your time yet never set time for you.
However, you can’t stop them from seeking but you can stop yourself from giving too much. Also, spending your time the way you want to must not be something you apologize for.
3. Topic Boundaries
We all have topics we don’t want to discuss.
For me, I don’t want to participate in conversations with supporters of enablers, misogynists, and sexist people. I don’t feel safe and empowered at all.
But you can’t prevent everyone to talk about things but you can control your response to them and stop engaging in a discussion, if you feel so. You set it for your own good.
4. Physical Boundaries
You must also set physical boundaries to prevent conflicts with others.
We all have grown in a different culture. Some might associate hugs to show love while others are awkward with this gesture. Yet, you can stop problems if you address them and set limits.
To conclude, here is a reminder: setting boundaries is not selfishness. It is healthy and important for your life.
