Maintaining Boundaries May Anger People, And That’s Okay
Keep this in mind: maintaining your boundaries may anger those who benefit from your lack of them. As our millennial psychologist, Riyan Portuguez, noted in a Facebook post, some people might try to control you because of it.
“Ang kadalasang response ng tao kapag natuto kang magset ng boundaries ay ang magalit. Hindi ka na kasi nila kayang makontrol.”
Your Millennial Psychologist in their Facebook post
Drawing The Line Where It Ends: Maintaining Boundaries May Anger People, And That’s Okay
Setting boundaries is one thing, but maintaining them is what often angers people. Furthermore, upholding your boundaries means you resist being persuaded into doing things that don’t feel right to you.
Now, why does that happen? Because there are people who enjoy controlling and using you as an instrument for their own gain. Most of the time, those people disregard how it can affect you or how it can make you feel.
Therefore, it’s okay to offend others when you choose self-respect over tolerating mistreatment. Often, their reactions have nothing to do with you and are more a reflection of themselves. You don’t have to tolerate such, and sometimes, the best choice is to walk away—unless circumstances, like living together, require a different approach.
Of course, people making mistakes and getting hurt is a normal part of life. We’re all humans capable of hurting ourselves and other people. However, we draw the line in a time when other people kept on crossing our boundaries after telling them what concerns us without feeling any remorse.
Setting Boundaries and Maintaining Them
I’m aware of how challenging it is to maintain boundaries. If you ever feel tempted to soften them, especially when you’re just learning to be assertive, there are ways to stay firm.
According to PsychCentral, here are some ways to ‘build and preserve your boundaries’:
- Remember the reason why you set those boundaries.
- Start with small boundaries and gradually build them.
- Set boundaries and expectations from the first encounter.
- Try to stick to your boundaries.
- Take some ‘me-time’ if you live with others.
- Consider adding more boundaries according to your needs.
- Establish healthy social media boundaries (also).
- Communicate openly if someone crosses your boundaries.
- Engage in activities you enjoy and practice self-love.
- Seek new perspectives on your boundaries, and know it’s okay to adjust them.
Since this article is for everyone, it’s important to remember that other people have boundaries, too.
On our end, it’s also integral for us to acknowledge and respect their boundaries. In our previous article, we established that while we’re all different, we’re all entitled to our own preferences and expectations. And since others may use this article as a guide, it’s important to respect and remain mindful of their boundaries just as we expect ours to be respected and considered.
