Let’s talk about our constant need for validation
You are valid. Your feelings are valid. Everything about you is valid. These are some of the words we often hear when we give or receive validation. I agree, it is so good to hear them. We experience the floating in cloud nine moment and all those feeling enough stuff we need, or we think we need.
Thinking about it, why do we constantly seek validation? Some say it is in our nature. Others think that it is in our genes. While several people claim that it is due to the environment we live in.
Let’s talk about our constant need for validation
The feeling of being involved.
People love to be involved or to be included in groups. From a huge community to an intimate inner circle, we want to be a part of them all. Regardless if you are an introvert or an extrovert. This is because for us, being in the moment with people means being important. We find our value in others. A simple circle of friends can mean a lot to us. The fact that we have someone to share our gossip or problems with is important. A family that supports our goals and dreams can go a long way.
Filling a void.
We are always a seven. I could ask you, on a scale of one to ten, how happy are you right now, and statistically, you are going to answer seven. Science proved this theory. This is because we do not feel whole our entire lives. We are in constant pursuit of purpose. There is an imaginable void that feels like we have to fill. We always want more and more to the point that contentment is not an option. It could be due to external factors or we are simply wired this way.
It’s not a necessity.
Diving deeply into it, we do not really need validation. We should teach ourselves that we are valid in our own ways. Yes, it feels good to hear it from others – to be validated by other people. However, it leads to dependency and more insecurities. The more we are validated, the more we want to hear it. This habit is not good for us in the long run because we may depend on our value on other people.
We are in constant need of validation but we should not be. Learning to be contented and to love ourselves is what we need to be mature. We have to grow and realize that our need for validation is the tiniest of the problems people have. Validation is helpful but only up to a certain extent. Beyond that, we need to invalidate validation.
