How Mysophobia Affects My Daily Life

The pandemic has led people to be wary about their surroundings. It made everyone anxious about what they touched or who they got along with as they fear of bringing the spreading virus to their homes. For one, I was already cautious about such things even before the pandemic emerged. My friends have already pointed out that I was a sort of germaphobe while I continue to deny that I am. But the pandemic made my mysophobia grow more day by day and it started to affect my daily life.

Mysophobia

Phobias are the uncontrollable lasting fear of a certain object, situation, or activity. It is somewhat associated with anxiety disorders. Some researchers found that this may be caused by genetics or other environmental factors to develop.

Mysophobia deals with the excessive fear of germs. According to medical studies, this phobia is also associated with Obsessive – Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It is also known as bacillophobia, bacteriophobia, germaphobia, and verminophobia.

“The only things I consider clean are those inside my own space. Everything else is contaminated.”

is the thought that crosses my mind, bugging me every single time and making me too anxious about everything.

Showering

Whenever I go out of my room, I think that the air around me is unclean. I have to take a shower before going back to my room. It feels bothersome. However, I cannot lay on my bed without taking a shower, even stepping into my room without showering makes me uncomfortable.

Instead of one or two showers a day, I sometimes have to go out of my way to take three. It would depend on how long I have been out or what I did. I usually take showers after sitting in the living room, dining table, or just washing the dishes. Even if I only spent 5 – 10 minutes out of my space, I already feel uneasy.

After I go to public places, I tend to take too much time in the shower as I scrub as many times as I can. It sometimes results in me having scratches from too much scrubbing.

Other than this, I tend to go back and forth to wash my hands and foot simultaneously, especially since I think I just have to. It suddenly became a habit that I should do or else I’ll be up all night thinking about what could be under my skin.

Personal belongings

More than that, I tend to keep my space only for myself to the point that other people touching my door knob makes me feel agitated. It makes me wonder where they used their hands before touching the knob. In that way, I need to sanitize it with alcohol every once in a while. It’s also the same as stepping inside my room. I don’t allow just anyone to enter it.

Physical touches

My friends who are aware of my phobia ask me how it is when I touch people, intentionally (hugs) or unintentionally (commuting). When I commute, I try my best to distance my skin from others, especially when I’m not wearing a jacket. With hugs, I don’t feel uncomfortable with such physical touches depending on the person.

How I noticed the mysophobia got worse

I was once fond of sleepovers. So, I invited my friends over to have one and even lent my room for them to sleep in. I thought it would be okay since I stayed with them in a dorm, too. Although, it became difficult for me to focus when we started gathering. I was too bothered to enjoy the sleepover because all I had in my mind was how I would clean my room thoroughly.

After they went home, I had a general cleaning despite recently changing all the sheets and sanitizing every corner of my room. Needless to say, I refuse to host sleepovers next time. It’s not because I hate catering to my friends or they’re dirty. It’s because I had to thoroughly clean my room and sanitize every piece of belongings that they possibly touched.

Living With Mysophobia

Since it would be difficult to break it, I just simply let things happen. It’s difficult to stop the bugging thoughts running. But, I thought that if I get used to doing things again, I would get better and cope well. I try to convince myself that some things are not really what I thought they would be.

Creating a change in my routine may help me get over the phobia. It can take time but at least there would be progress about it. As long as I won’t get stuck with it, I’ll be okay. It’s a process but I think I can get over this phobia and not let it get in the way of doing my daily activities.

Nothing’s impossible anyway, right?