When you look at the people around you, sometimes you just can’t help but feel like you’re the only one lagging behind. They talk about the things they’ve achieved in life, how they did it, and what they are planning in the future. They all seem like they are improving, leveling up in life. On the other hand, you’re thinking about what you’re going to do tomorrow. Do you feel like everyone else but you are growing?
Growing and self-doubt
While it is not exactly pleasant, it is not uncommon to feel like you are getting left behind. Self-doubt can present itself like an anchor on your chest. It keeps you in place and it’s difficult to get it off of you. It’s human for us to look around and worry about not doing the right thing to advance in life. We think like that but that doesn’t mean it’s true.
People will say “do this, do that” or “study this, work here”. They will also berate you if you haven’t done anything that they did. You get blamed for not growing how they did. That’s when self-doubt kicks in harder than before.
It’s not that giving or listening to advice is bad. However, you have to remember that not everyone’s the same. We don’t always have equal footing at the same time. We can’t keep on comparing each other’s progress but that’s what happens anyway. And so, we start to feel like we are not growing.
Non-existent manual for growing
We see others as the standard. When we’re not at the same pace as them, it disillusions us. It makes us think that we aren’t going by the book. But there are no rules to growing. No one was given a manual about life at birth. We learn all of these both on our own and with others.
Even those around us have stumbled at some point in their life. We’ve all had our setbacks as well as our moments of doubts and fears. As much as it sucks, we wouldn’t be human without them. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re behind everyone else.
A little reminder
You’re probably improving right now without even realizing it. You’ve probably improved a lot since then. The thing is, maybe the focus should be on yourself this time. Give yourself the credit. You think you’re catching up with everyone else when that has never been the case all along. There is no final level to growing that we should all attain. And life is no race either.
If no one has told you in a long while, you are doing a great job at growing at your own pace.
Niña is a reader and it is through stories that she realized her love for words. Even though she is not much of a talker in real life, she has discovered that written words are just as powerful as the uttered ones. She is currently an undergraduate Journalism student and loves to listen to music and watch book recommendation videos.