How and When to Come Out is Up To No One But You

It’s 2022. It’s Pride Month once again. Regardless of the year, day or celebration, everyone should always keep this in mind: It is not others’ decision how and when one should come out.

It’s not them who decide who you should be

“Halata namang bakla ka eh. Sa lambot mong ‘yan. Umamin ka nalang kasi”

It is never acceptable to assume someone’s sexuality based on their actions. It is never okay to claim they’re gay unless they say so themselves. If a person denies that he is queer, then he is not. Pushing it down their throats won’t make them what you tell them to be. It’s just being annoying and insensitive if you do so.

It’s not anyone’s call to tell you who you are and what you are.

People won’t understand what they avoid to understand

“2022 na. Tanggap na naman ang mga bakla eh. Tanggap ka namin”

Exactly! It’s 2022, and people should be aware of the disregarded issue of outing someone. If that person is not ready to acknowledge their sexuality in public, no one should accept it for them.

There will always be internal struggles and fear about someone not coming out. There is a deeper issue than just saying and admitting that they are queer.

You don’t have to come out just because people tell you to do so.

It’s your pace, way and closet

Regardless of any time or year, you don’t have to rush yourself. It’s not a race. If you’re ready to come out, then you do you. If you’re not, then you can take all the time you need. Whether it’s 2019 or 2039, it doesn’t matter. You’re still you. Out or not.

Whatever way you want to come out, it’s okay. If you want it exclusively to a friend or do it in front of your family, do it your way. Let yourself find your safe place.

It’s Okay If You’re Still Unsure of Your Sexuality

I made a paper about homosexuality for my Senior High School philosophy class. I was told to link it to Jean Paul Sartre’s famous saying, l’existence précède l’essence (existence precedes essence). I thought that it would be difficult, but it made sense as I continued with my paper.

Sartre’s quote explains that before you know your essence, you must first exist. You will be able to explore and learn about life as you have every freedom to know who you are only after existing.

So, if you’re still unsure about your sexuality, it’s okay. Just keep existing for now, and you’ll soon get your answer. There’s no deadline for coming out. You have your own clock. But even that, you sometimes don’t have to follow it unless you want to. Just 5 more minutes, 5 more days, or 5 more years. No matter how much more you need, take as much time as you want until you are ready.

You don’t owe the world any explanation about you. It’s always going to be you who will acknowledge who you are. No matter how close you are, no one has the right to take you out of the closet. Not now, not ever.

Take your time. You’re still amazing either way.