Is there Art in Emotional Suppression?
“Girl, remember this: you are a diamond. And just like a diamond, you are unbreakable,” said the girl in my class way back in high school. She was assertive, fearless, and unapologetic. She was never afraid of showing people what she feels. She was being herself. And so I thought that I wanted to be her.
I practiced possessing the confidence she has. I developed that fearless attitude wherein I was able to stand up in front of everyone with so much poise. I became a leader who was so determined to attend to everybody.
It was all so pure and genuine until I realized that I have been overstraining myself. Time after time, I lost this power, crumbled down, and deteriorated. In an instant, I had a hard time expressing what I felt, confining myself to the idea of less talk, less mistakes.
Looking back, it was hard finding the reasons that caused the sudden lump. It was never easy trying to rekindle the flame that gave me the spark to grow. Emotional suppression is hard to recognized — and just like everybody, I had to learn it the hard way.
Rehydrate — Start by taking a shower
The hardest part of accomplishing anything is to start. Oftentimes, when stressed, we try to sit in a room that brings us comfort — where we try to acknowledge the reasons behind the sudden spiral.
Upon acknowledgement, we tend to overthink these reasons, saying lines like, “what if I tried” or “I could’ve done so much better.” Then proceed to long for the missed opportunity without realizing that we have been sitting in that room for a very long time already.
And what’s supposed to be the comfort zone offers everything but comfort.
So, get up, and try taking a shower. Hydrate yourself, freshen up, and calm your mind. Maybe you’ll find a better way on how to actually cope with your maybes, what ifs, and might’ve beens.
Recalibrate — Own a journal
If there’s one thing I’ve learned on how to properly recognize our emotions, it is to have an outlet where we could pour our energy. Thus, owning a journal where you can write everything that comes to your mind is a good idea. Not only it helps in recognizing the right words you feel but also helps stimulate your mind to think deeply.
In journaling, you are not required to limit your own words — there’s no minimum or maximum word count, you should only have to do it with sincerity and truth.
It’s okay if you cannot fully articulate what you feel or if you think that you’re writing nonsense. Because it doesn’t have to make total sense, especially for starters, who find it hard recognizing their emotions.
You only have to do it again and again, until you find the right words and the specific phrases you need — the very essence of journaling.
Reconnect — Socialize, let go of emotional suppression
After some recalibration, maybe it’s time to practice socializing with other people. Reconnect with your family or friends — unless your mind says otherwise. I get it, some people influence us negatively with peer pressure that triggers another emotional suppression.
Go out into an adventure. Socialize. Make some new friends — I don’t necessarily mean people, because you could always have your own pet. Evaluate if it fits your personality. If it does, good. If it does not then it is also good.
Blending in with other people may be draining. On the minus side, you might drain your social batteries. But on the plus side, you will know how to limit yourself.
So, try reconnecting with other people and friends — including our pets — as it helps us know that we have someone we can lean on, someone we can talk to about anything or everything.
Reboot — Start a new life
Most people experience emotional suppression — consciously or unconsciously. It always hides beneath our faces. Cosmic experiences such as changing your mood on the way to work after dodging a fight back in your house or going back to your family with smiles plastered in your face after a long tiring day at work.
While it’s hard rearranging our lives and changing it to the best way there is, we should stop pressuring ourselves to live better. Focus on the present and live with ease. Learn from the past and don’t expect anything from what lies ahead.
We are human, you are human. As cliche as it gets, we are not always made to rise because we are also made to fall and stumble. Unfortunately, most of the time, the paths we have to cross are always rocky. The more reason we need to learn how to dodge and face these challenges — so the next time we fall, we know how to gently land.
